we, us and ours

back to work

2011-07-06T18:15:00.000-07:00

assalamualaikum,

it's been close a month at work since the end day of the confinement, and I thank Allah every second and everyday for guiding me to go through all the challenges, from being a mother of one to a mother of two, with more responsibilities in the office.

Apart from clearing some backlog, updating status and catching up with the timeline, life has been great for the four of us; on breastfeeding, housewife-ing and studying

BF

Alhamdulillah, production has never declined that I managed to get at least 15oz per day, based on three times pumping. The pumping gadget travels everywhere with me, you name it PJ, Bangsar, Mid Valley, Semenyih and Port Dickson. But the challenge is not over yet, I'm up for bringing the routine of pumping to Chenderoh end of this month, and hopefully I could squeeze time between the sampling and dropping by Petronas Surau anywhere by the roadside to express the milk out, insya Allah. Stock in the fridge is at least 60oz, to get me ready for the upcoming Ramadhan.

Kids

fatiha is now much easier to handle in the morning, less excuses for not going to Taska, as I've always said, "Faidz dah pegi skolah, Tia pn kena pegi skolah, kesian Faidz tkde orang teman dia", and she's been nodding to that eversince. Though I dont get up very early, I hope to continue preparing her breakfast set (basically just frying nugget) every morning (only today I failed, sbb sgt2 tk smpat).

Faidz on the other hand has recovered from flu and cold. That;s the risk every mother in this world had to bear for sending the kids to kindergarten/nursery. We had to give him meds to speed up the recovery, I could not bear to depend solely on the developing immune system, kesian sangat! I'm yet to bring him to his second jab, that the first appointment for the 2month jab was cancelled due to his flu. Insya allah, I'll try to bring him this evening after work.

Housewife

House chores increase like rain that never stops, yet I'm happy doing it. Penat? Don't ask! Everyday after work, I pick up Fatiha (from Taska in my office) and Faidz (from Taska near our house), then as soon as we arrive, I'll clear their bags, wash the bottles, store the EBM, and put the clothes in for washing. If Faidz can stay on his matress while Fatiha watches her PHDC, I quickly cook rice and just dump anything edible from the fridge for dinner. If Abbas arrives early, he helps me looking after the kids, if not, sometimes I have to cook with them both (dont ask how, creativity comes with risk).

Work

Needless to say, it never ends. Sometimes I have the thought of taking leave for study, but am I up for it? PhD is damn tough, and I am afraid of risking my current happy routine for that!

Quote from Ust Hasrizal (from IKIM motivasi pagi)

''Ketenangan lahir from kasih sayang dalam keluarga, suami kepada isteri, isteri kepada suami, suami dan isteri kepada anak-anak, anak-anak kepada ibu dan bapa,

Mawaddah - cabaran2 yang dihadapi, masalah2 yang mendatang dlm keluarga

Rahmah - optimistic dalam menyelesaikan masalah/cabaran yang mendatang, that solutions come from rasa kasih/belas/ihsan to one another, that the challenges/problems turn to sweetest memories in life"

Syukur, syukur dan syukur..

what i did in my confinement part 2

2011-06-11T22:19:00.000-07:00

Self improvement

Long before the confinement, I’ve laid out several plans to execute during confinement, which consisted of starting solat training for Fatiha and consistently teaching her Muqaddam. I must say that I was pretty ambitious planning, and now I realize teaching those things to a toddler and to turn them into doing as habit and a must, is extremely difficult, that it takes a lot of courage, creativity, patience and du’a. I did the training though, but could not consistently doing it. It became much harder as I was in postpartum period for her to solat alone. The letters Alif Ba Ta could be remembered by her, but when we put the ‘baris’ like ‘baris atas for aaa sound,” she get a little confused. So, this is a long journey and I have to continue…amin.

As for now, I’ve lost almost 17 kg, putting me now in the upper limit of the normal BMI (i.e 25), so if I cease to control food intake, and procrastinate to exercise, I’ll put myself in the excess weight regime. So people, I really have to lose a few more kilos, by means of exercising. I hope to find time after work, or during the weekend to follow some simple workout at home, downloaded from youtube or some. Less that I know how it will work..very difficult this task is!

Work from home

So much I wanted to be free from work, they come to me like rains that never stops. The new researcher recruited a few days before I left for confinement was clueless on what to do, which I pitied her the most. So she kept on sending emails and SMS requesting for information, sample paper and instructions to take over my jobs. I did it anyway, with open heart, without any hesitation (not to praise myself here, but she’s in need!). I managed to wrap up the monitoring report, and reviewed a few others like *PP, Chenderoh’s and Slope work. At least I had my mind intact before going back,hehe!

Alhamdulillah also that I finish the papers for rivers 2011 and isenar 2011, the two conferences I’ve been eyeing since last year. And I also looked at several trainings that I really want to attend, but all of them are for next year. So hopefully I can attend some this year through UNITEN and start the attachement at G&P’s. It’ll be wasted if I let things that I’ve planned for so long gone just like dust blown by the wind.

So peeps, that’s pretty sum up everything I did in the past 7 weeks. I have another one week for this heaven of mine, with the kids 24-7, so lets enjoy every second of it.

Wassalam.

what i did during part 1

2011-06-11T21:32:00.000-07:00

assalamualaikum and good day to all

this is my second attempt to make an entry, the first i did had completely disappeared, what a waste!!!
anyway, i am now just another 9 days to end the 60 day maternity leave, yet i am far from ready to go to work. so before i prepare my mind, body and soul for work again, let's recap on what i did during the confinement

Day Care

Faidz is now close to being 2 months seeing this world, and alhamdulillah he's doing well without jaundice, nappy rash and fever. The BF has been helping a lot for me to get through,and he's less colic compared to Fatiha. Experience with sleepless nights, colic and extreme crankiness of Fatiha has helped us a lot, that we are ready. He used to stay up all night in the first 2 weeks but slowly being normal in the remaining weeks. He now wakes up twice or thrice for feeding, before going back to sleep again. He's stay awake with big round eyes if he poop or else he'll playing for a bit then dozes off. Alhamdulillah, it has been a smooth journey so far.

As I am going back to work, so does Fatiha with Taska TNBR. She did go there inconsistently, or whenever I managed to persuade her. She loved staying at home, with her homemaking Umi and newborn brother. It has been extremely difficult to get her ready for Taska, with thousands of excuses that I wanted to change her to a new day care, for which Faidz will be put at, but the supervisor informed me that there is no vacant place for 3-yr old toddler. Leaving me with no option, Fatiha has to stay at Taska TNBR, which she less like it.

The new day care for Faidz looks good, as I visited it for booking 4 months ago. But I didnt get the chance to see with my two eyes the baby room, the section in a day care that I concern the most. The toddler's playing area is neat, clean and tidy, with lots of books and animal murals painted on the wall. I have to go there again in the next 10 days for at least two tryout sessions for Faidz to get him ready..

BF

Alhamdulillah, with support and help from dear husband, Yaati (u know who u r) and self motivation from within, I have started to stock up EBM that I now have 30 oz, in pack of 2 oz each. For many moms out there,it may be little to even last a week, but to me it is more than helpful. I'll continue to stock more; I can only get 2oz per tandem, and maximum of 4oz from both. I hope to continue exclusive BF until he's 6 months, as for Fatiha I only survived exclusive BF the first 4 months (despite BF-ing until she's 2.5 years..). To me, BF provides the additional protection for babies especially for those staying in day care with a lot more other babies. Of course,they are prone to fever, cold and cough but this extra protection given by mothers would add additional shield, I hope (Amin..)

Home Making

As confined mother should really sit and do nothing, I did only 30% of that. I had my rest in the first 2 weeks (despite throwing out an aqiqah kenduri on the 7th day), with Abbas doing most of the chores and help from both in-laws and my family. As I entered the third week, I loosened off a bit, I could not endure the messy house, same meal for lunch and dinner, and mamak's or pasar malam's food for Abbas and Fatiha. So I started of being housewife, did the chores, cooked food for us, and took care of the duo, but at a control and slow pace. Mak agreed with me, but she made sure that I didnt lift up heavy box/basket. Who can stand living in mess, right?

I started a little project on home decor to inprove my lame creativity i.e. from being straight foward and followthe instructions to a little bit artsy, hehe. I rearrange the living room, by creating a little corner for Fatiha under the stairs, with the wall stickers, flowers, basketball net and pole, her chairs and reading stuff. She likes it and will go there for her good drawing and reading time The good verdict received from Abbas kept me to continue. So, on a reasonable budget, I plan to buy several canvas paint, with black and white motive, along with a big mirror and picture frames to decorate the living area. I give myself luxury of time to do this…hehe

A.N.G.E.L!

2011-04-29T03:22:00.000-07:00

i really want to write bout the labour of our second child, but its gonna be a long entry as i recorded every single moment on my phone using the 'notes' function..

so lets have that labour story later, but i'd like to share the magnificent bidan abbas , who has been taking care of us for almost a week

believe it or not, i was a bit skeptical to be in confinement at home, thinking of how difficult would it be for him to manage our diverse needs, Fatiha, Faidz and Me,

yet, he's been wonderful! morning he wakes up, does the laundry, showers fatiha and prepares the breakfast. Then, he bathes the baby, helps to put on his clothes while me getting ready for shower

as the baby sleeps after i feed him, he helps me to put the ginger lotion and minyak angin and some shoulder massage that even makcik tukang urut cannot defeat him, sampai sendawa2 aku hilang angin, then he reminds me of the medicine a.k.a. antibiotik or even some time send it to me ala2 nurse at the hospital..

he takes care of fatiha, for lunch and dinner, for her nap, and susu at all time, while occasionally looks after Faidz if I am in the toilet or eating..oh, forgot to mention, he wakes up when i feed faidz at night, for moral support i guess.

very soon, his leave will be over, and fikah will be helping me around.. i dont want to berpantang at mak's place, kesian...biarlah kita buat sendiri semua, cukupla mak dh besarkan dan jaga sy dlm ward hari tu, i dont want to be at mama's place either, cukupla mama dtg hari2 anta food and check up on us..

to all, i am sooooo glad, bersyukur sangat2 that i am married to him, bliss!!

A.N.G.E.L

we love U!!!

untuk anak-anak

2011-04-08T04:35:00.000-07:00

glad that the exams are over though it didnt go well, given more time, perhaps i could do better, but no point of regretting the past..

to the boy in the womb and Dearest Kak Tia (as she called herself),

doakan umi lulus semester ni ye! i still have another 3 reports to be submitted, of which the first two are 70% completed, and the remaining one still untouched, i am giving myself another one more week to wrap it all

as for work, another 3 more assignments still pending:

to finalise and submit approval paper for **I*EN

to finalise tender for TJPS + slides for the tender briefing

monitoring report Dec - Feb

should Allah decides that you come out earlier, I am all ready insya Allah, umi dah basuh semua pakaian, Kak Tia pn sgt2 helpful skarang that she can manage herself very well, except in the morning that she still need extra attention from me

remember this,

life in this temporary world is very challenging, full of tests, and please remind me always of my duty to make sure you and Kak Tia will become amongst His best servants

Amin...

Risau seorang ibu

2011-03-11T16:18:00.000-08:00

For the boy

Last night was the day i finished off unwrapped all the items bought for him and arrange the wardrobe for the expected new comer to our threesome family. Yes, insya allah it would be a boy, Alhamdulillah. For the first time, Abbas accompanied me to do the ultrasound at his workplace, of which i appreciated his every single effort for making the appointment and to actually be there as Dr Suhaila and I discussed about this pregnancy. Not even a single second I regret or felt sad for not having him around, as I understand his duty to patients who need him more.

Next week, he has to take my blood sample for further investigation, just to rule out possibilities for gestational diabetes, hepatitis etc, for final confirmation. So i guess, from this week onwards, i would have weekly trip to hospital until insya allah, the delivery date itself.

Unfinished business

I scrapped off all outstation, except within Klang Valley. I have to clear my desk, or at least finalise 2 tender documents so it would be ready to be floated when i am not around. At this juncture, i could not find anyone in the team that could take over the unfinished assignment; i seriously hope the boss would help me, despite his limited information on the projects i am handling at the moment, have i been working in silo? I don’t know.

Study

i have emailed all the lecturers and Head of department to inform them on the possibility that i might not take the final exam on the stipulated date, and i seek their advice to take it slightly earlier, though i know it would be difficult. But taking the exam when having the newborn around it more difficult, aight! Fingers crossed man!

MSc progress report is only 60% done, and the deadline is only 2 weeks away. No other option than to work over the weekend, as Abbas would not be around both today and tomorrow, so i hope the progress figure goes up by at least 15%, can I??

The house

Oh, on another note, deep down, i hope the previous couple who visited our house would take up the offer to rent it from us. I could feel the comfort of renting it out to them in comparison to the previous three viewers. It is very stressful decision to make, whether to rent it out or to stay, especially after having all the renovation done in our way, when Abbas had spent his limited weekend doing the painting, installation of aircond etc. To move in within this phase is unfavourable to me, and to hold it for additional 3-4 months until the baby is stable would burden the financial part a bit, with the headache to find new day care for Fatiha and the baby. Sigh... Hopefully, the decision would ease both our physical and financial health, amin ya Allah.

Note to close

We leave all to Allah

Teringat zaman student dulu, slalu sgt baca ayat ni, bila dh buntu xtau nk study ape lg time nk exam

‘Cukuplah Allah bagiku, Dialah sebaik-baik penolong’

belated Singapore post

2011-01-26T18:28:00.000-08:00

i've been very busy bee for the past few weeks, with preparation for moving in, registration to new semester of my study, submission of various reports, and none other than work and work..

Singapore

i forgot to mention the trip to Singapore (31st Dec - 2nd Jan) was awesome, despite the food (which we found it very difficult to just stop by like the typical stalls set up in malaysia, there is specific parking spots for every place, of which you cant just drop by at your own ease). Strolling along the Orchard Rd was a bit boring, to abbas at least, since we couldnt afford to shop in any of the expensive shopping malls, may be we were not up to the designers label, hence the bias justification on all of the items. But we did go out on the New Year nite, Fatiha was asleep on my lap, and Abbas drove us along all major roads in the city (i admire him for his talent in mastering maps and direction to new place, pure awesomeness, :P), and we covered that majestic city in one night (with supers lights and christmas trees), until we headed to the only stall we could find for simple nasi goreng kampung (from the only Makcik Melayu a.k.a Halal that was open).

Singapore Night Safari was another thrilling experience, we were enthralled by the animals especially those of predators such as lions, tigers, rhinos, hippos which were at very close distance to us, up to a point that i screamed my heart out (as Fatiha 'roared' to me upon reaching the tigers cave), the tigers were well kept and extensively healthy (judging from the size and in comparison to our tigers in National Zoo). I must congratulate the Zoologist for preserving the natural habitat of those animals that they feel like they are indeed in Savannah or Borneo jungle so they feed very well. Upon finishing the tram ride, Abbas (he is indeed a wonderful travelling companion) dragged us to walk along the trail (for about 30 minutes) to really see those animals (again) at much closer range (we could really touch them, not the tigers la of course). He hold Fatiha on his shoulder and led the way, and I didnt stop saying my prayer thinking of all the impossible consequences such as hippos might jump and hunt us, haha, I am very irrational (right?). Right on the bus back to hotel, Fatiha fell asleep tightly in her Bapak's arm..how sweet!

the final day was spent at Universal Studio, awesome experience for movie lovers like us, Fatiha whom never like Shrek (monster she said) has now changed to his hard core fan, and dressed-up Fiona was very much alike the character in the movie, we spent most of the hottest day queuing, sometimes up to an hour but it was al worth it, we did feel sorry for Fatiha, as she could not find a good spot to have her afternoon nap, so we headed out the whole excitement a little bit early i.e. by 4pm. The 4D Shrek Adventure was the best of all, in comparison to other rides and shows such as Lost World, Hollywood, New York and Sci-Fi, since Abbas was not fond of the Egyptian village (which I am the Egyptian true lover). We were so tired and sweaty that I took a 'small' shower inside the baby changing room, whilst getting Fatiha ready on her new clothes and nappy. It was pricey comparing to the amount of rides we had, but we learnt our lesson "to enjoy all rides, we must go during weekdays, and away from those holiday season"

pictures will up later, it is all in my PC at home.

as for now, apparently i have a little bit of time for myself and family, which i hope to spend it to the utmost quality..

serabut!

2011-01-21T17:24:00.000-08:00

2 reports due minggu ni

master project still at 0%

additional sampling kt Cameron

data review

nak pindah

barang2 baby langsung tk beli lagi

banyaknya kena fikir..

serabut...

Ya Allah, tolonglah..

sabar

2010-12-23T22:06:00.000-08:00

saya terpanggil nk tulis a bit, ilmu tk banyak, cuma nk kongsi sedikit rasa hati, tkde kena mengena dengan individu, cuma kadang2 rasa organisasi tpt cari rezeki ni unfair kepada orang2 tertentu..

saya malas nk mengulas panjang, cukupla tadi dh terluah rasa hati dengan kawan saya, alhamdulillah rasa lega skit..terima kasih kpd kawan tersebut, sudi pinjamkan telinga dia

now, sy rasa lega..biarlah. saya akan usahakan supaya hak kami tuh dapat diperolehi, cuma sekadar berusaha. kalau Allah dah decide bukan rezeki kami, memang bukanla nampaknya.

Smoga allah murahkan dan mudahkan di tempat yang lain,

Quote kak marina (bersesuaian dengan beautiful Islamic teaching),

Kalau dah berusaha, biar Allah yang tentukan, senjata kita orang mukmin doa sahaja. Allah yang pegang semuanya, Dia yang Menentukan..

Amin

(saya dh start kene buat proposal study ni, ya Allah, bukakanla pintu hati dan kurniakanlah akal fikiran yang cerdas, semoga saya dapat siapkan Master nih tepat pada masanya)

weekend with US!

2010-12-20T17:24:00.000-08:00

Fatiha and Abbas

sejak balik dari Korea ni, Fatiha asyikla melekat dengan bapanya, sume benda dia minta Abbas buat, kesian jugak tgk suami ni, balik keje penat2, melayan karenah anak dara nan seorang nih. one of the reason sbb Fatiha dah completely weaned off, so mmg makin rapat dgn bapanya la, sume tuh jadi automatically mase kt Korea, penat dah saya berusaha berbulan2 cuba nk wean off, tp x berhasil. Alhamdulillah, kuasa Allah, Fatiha cm faham je susahnya Ummi kena jadi Umi dan Bapa at the same time, dia pn wean off sendiri without too much hassle. Having said that, saya pn tk risau sgt nk tinggalkn Fatiha di rumah bila terpakse outstation, cam last week. Tp sehari boleh la, tuh pn demam, smpi skarang masih x fully recover...kesian, lepas nih kene bawak juga nampaknya, hehe

Projek Alpinia

last week kitrg pegi KL, kononnya nak usya handbag baru, sbb the one and only handbag yg ada sejak zaman student dah hancur lunyai, tp orang punyala ramai smpi saya rasa tk payah la beli, xtau nk pilih camne, memangla murah, tp sakit kepala..so end up nya kami pegi ke houz depot, opposite Pertama Complex. Usya2 la apa yang patut, sambil plan for the new house...nampak gaya memang basic je la yg kami mampu..sbb grill je dh mahal gila. blum masuk buat fitted cabinet and plaster ceiling installation.

(plan plaster ceiling for living and dining room, kipas pn lebih kurang cmni jugak, saya tk ambil yang covered downlight, sbb x terang, hehe)

the next day nya, kami pg beli lampu2 dan kipas, rabak juga la sbb ambil 7 ceiling fans, and tah bape puluh biji lampu tah...tp tkkn x pasang kan?

(plannya nk buat open wardrobe cmni, tp takut anak 'mengemas' plak nanti, so kene la cover with sliding door, like a little closet for our clothes)

so next week, insya allah contractor dh boleh start pasang, and kitrg kene cari one last thing, the screen for installation at the back door, tkde pintu, just grill, mmg open concept btol, maknanya kalau saya masak and basuh kain (it is a wet kitchen), takut kucing, ular or tikus masuk and rob us, or even worse, H.A.N.T.U (saya admit, saya sangat2 penakut benda2 paranormal ni), and both Abbas and I tanak install wooden door, or cover the whole up, so kami decide nak install screen aje, hopefully dapatla elak binatang2 bisa masuk...

(camnila rupa pintu belakang saya, in wet kitchen, memang open, and I can see ESSO at the back clearly)

(so kene cover with black screen like this, but not the sliding type, Abbas nk lekatkn je trus)

harap2 sumenya ok, dapatlah move in before delivery April ni..

Permudahkan la semuanya Ya Allah, Amin..

(Bonus tahun ni memang licin habis ke kerja2 fitting and moving in je nampaknya :P)

a boy!

2010-12-07T19:34:00.000-08:00

i just went for ultrasound at an nur this morning, az zahra was fully booked and i didnt want to spend much time queuing at klinik kesihatan putrajaya, so i took expensive shortcut by visiting an nur o&g clinic, gila mahal but at least i now everything is right now..

this is considered the first scan for the second baby of mine, poor baby, umi was been so damn busy that i could even scheduled an appointment for u, i am truly sorry for this.

anyway, cut the story short, everything is ok, estimated weight is 400g, hearbeat is good, i could u yawning just now, sleeping by putting your arms below the head as additional pillow, just like the way ur bapak sleep..hehe, so cute!

and the best was, the dr said 'insya allah it's gonna be a boy'

hopefully, the dr is true..

so fatiha, bersedialah melasak dengan bakal adindamu ini (i can see how bersepah my house would be, with a pair of duo musketeers, yang skarang pn fatiha dh super lasak cm lelaki, lagi la the true lelaki, haha)

Alhamdulillah

reminiscing paris, best ever trip with suami

2010-12-04T09:10:00.000-08:00

i have to write this sbb terbaca blog ko la cik fedy, and tgh rindu amat dgn suami, serius tk sabar nk balik mesia esok...

speaking about paris, i cant stop smiling and laughing, reminiscing all the beautiful memories being there with suami tercinta, for the honeymoon. subhanallah, sangat super2 best!

masa tuh tkde duit sgt sbb abbas blum start kje, br je grad, and gaji PEP tnb nih bape sen la sgt, but since dh kumpul duit hasil kerja part time jd GSCE marker kt Salford and audit medical kt Galway, dptla smpan skit2, for the trip.

we took the long exhausted trip, naik bus from victoria station, crossing dover to calais, about 8 hrs trip, bagpacker style, berdua je ok! abis aku angkut small rice cooker, with some food stock, and abbas's bag contain all our clothing. masa tuh summer, so siang sgt panjang..so perjalanan yg jauh pn tk rasa sgt, asik amik gmbar and chatting suami isteri yang tgh mabuk bercinta, hehe

smpi calais, trus naik metro gi hotel, murah je, time tuh about 40 euro pernight with breakfast kot, hotel luxia, somewhere near Montmarte station, so kitrg beli yg 3-days tiket, smpi kt hotel, check in trus makan...sdapnye ya amat nasi lemak ngn ayam goreng packed all the way dr manchester tuh

ptg tuh, kitrg start berjalan, slalunya travel ngn kwn2, we took the train, hop on hop off to almost every place, but with abbas, mode of travelling was slightly different. he likes to walk, literally walk, so mmg romantik abis x ingat la, sbb br kawin, pastu jln berdua, in summer, across all streets, smbil try food sume, sumpah heaven korg!

forgot to mention, tpt kitorang stay happen to be kawasan muslim, so byk la kedai kebab halal spjng jalan kluar je dr hotel tuh...how grateful we were! kalau tk jalan dr hujung ke hujung mmg tkkn jmpa, sbb kedai2 kecik and almost tersorok, so everytime we passed a nice-smell-grilled-lamb, we asked " is this halal?" mamat kedai pn happy amat, sbb tk sngka ada org islam dtg jauh2 dr malaysia mkn kt situ, pastu football fan fanatic plak, happy gile borak psl bola ngn abbas... the fact is org islam kt paris mostly duduk kawasan2 middle class je,

kitorg jalan to almost everywhere on that first day, dr montmarte to moulin rouge, skip atleast 3 metro stations if i'm not misktaken, sakit kaki tp best! towards moulin rouge, byk la kedai2 'pelik' jual all kind of adult stuff, of course kitrg tk masuk, just passed by je..smpi moulin rouge, terlompat2 katak kegambiraan nk ambil gmba, sanggup nih tunggu smpi mlm skit to wait for all the lights to turn on, hahaha, sayang isteri punya psl abbas layan je la..

second day we went to central paris, best amat, after breakfast, we went to arc du triomph, amik gmba, jln2 along shopping street housing all the boutique cm LV, hugo boss, mont blanc etc..sebok kitrg bergmba sbb nk beli mmg tkde duit, dtg sorg minah cina from China mtk tlg belikan 3 bags at LV boutique, dia kata dia xleh masuk LV sbb pak guard tuh x bagi, so dia hulur kt abbas EURO 4000 nk beli bag tuh, aku dh risau amat siap ckp " tkyah la abg, kita tk tau tah2 duit tipu ke, kang kita kene tngkap" tp abbas insisted kate 'tkpela, sian kt dia, tlgla org time susah"

so kitrg masuk LV, dgn muka sememeh ala2 student tkde duit, trus gi kt kaunter ckp nk beli bag as described by the Chinese, seriously those bags were displayed, not just yg letak bertebaran kt luat, terkejut beruk time bayar, merasa la aku pegang bag mahal and test2 konon2, then kitrg bayar pakai abbas'd passport, and the sales girl bagi some coupon for VAT redemption, mak aii, tax redemption je EUR 400! kaya2!

keluar je, aku bergambar la sekejap dgn bag, ahah! gila kampung jakun ok! minah cina tuh dtg, kitrg handover bag with the receipts, dia ckp ' u take the receipt, and claim the tax at the airport, take it as our pay for your kindness, u are man with very good heart!' terkedu kitrg dpt EUR 400...although in tax redemption form,,,

then, kitrg took metro to park, serius tk ingat ape namanya, near Champ Elysse and Palace du Concorde, sgt gamak bergambar, and lunch+solat kt park, then tertido la these lovebirds sekejap sbb letih berjln..,

ptg tuh, kitrg mkn aiskrim near Champ Elysse, smbil tgk org main layang2, jiwang amat la nye!

pastu trus amik train to eiffel tower, jauh jgak, kene tukar2, smpi tgk org beratur pnjg gile, sbb dh nk mlm, last lift was at 9pm, ktrg smpi around 8,45, i insisted nak naik jgak..so abbas beratur to get the ticket, alhamdulillah, dpt, and it was the LAST lift..haha, rezki kan?

pastu naik, tgk the view, cantik sgt, tp kamera mase tuh tk canggih, so penat2 adjust still blurry, tp tk penting la tuh, kamera pemberian Allah tuh lebih hebat, eyes and brain! lama gk duduk kt atas tuh, berjiwang suami isteri, haha! bila tgk gambar2, sumpah segan nk tnjuk kt anak2, hehe! tp tkde yg censored ek!

then, balik tuh kitrg realised we might miss the train, sb last train was at 11.30pm, jam abbas dh dekat kol 11.20pm, ape lagi berlari2 la kitrg to the station, and masa smpi mmg train nk jln dah, so lompat trus, seb baik kurus2 keding time tuh, so ringan je abbas tarik aku lompat masuk..haha, tukar tren ape sume, smpi la hotel dlm 12 lebih cmtuh...penat amat tp puas!

esoknye last day, kitrg kluar lmbt skit, sbb mngantuk, check out and lunch at nearby kebab for one last time, lpas tuh termasuk butik busana muslimah, serious jubah lawa2 and one that caught my eyes was a long ala2 trench coat, but a cream suit, just my size, about EUR 50, tp miskin kan, so abbas ckp ' we will come here again, and buy you this!' terharu tak?, hehe...kitrg pg musee du louvre, and picnic at the park near eiffek tower (haha, aku mmg fan of eiffel ye kwn2), jln2all the way smpi ke notre dame, then ptg tuh kitrg cari central masjid, tp xjmpa, penat tanye direction (thanks to my 1st year french course) that we finally managed to get to a mosque, but not the central mosques, pastu sakan amik gamba sbb nama masjid tuh 'Mosque de Shaikh Abbas" poyo je la abbas ckp masjid smpena nama dia...cess!

then lpas dinner, out trip was almost reaching the end, we tool the night bus from calais to victoria, anothe long 8 hours journey, tp bila dgn org yg kita syg, tk rasa lama pn, hehe

smpi kt dover, sangkut plak kt makcik imigresen sbb dia claim abbas masuk uk tk sah, aku still ada visa student, while abbas tkde proof dia masuk uk secara sah, sbb mmg all flights from ireland tk perlu cop imigresen, so mmg bangang gila makcik tuh! dah kitrg kene turun bus, detained kt situ cm pendatang haram...sedeh gila, sbb abbas kene tahan kt dlm, whilst i was waiting at the seating outside...

all night long aku tk tido, nangis takut abbas kene libas ke ape kt dlm tuh, abbas plak skali skala hantar sms kt phone ckp 'jgn nangis, everything will be ok, it was just a misunderstanding, once the irish embassy office bukak, everything will be cleared out' Allah je yg tahu how difficult was that first test, so doa and solat je la yg aku mampu...pg tuh, change of imigration officer shift, makcik bengong dh tukar dgn pakcik baik, dia ckp ' i dont see any reason why she detained u, u showed us a valid irish student visa, so i give u three months uk visa and sorry for causing so much trouble for u and ur wife"

hampes! smpi kt victoria, kitrg head to airport, catch flight back to ireland...and sy bronggeng plak kt ireland for abot one week plus, heaven! sy tk upload gambar2 paris, mmg tk penah upload anywhere, let it be our secret till the end!

moralnya, a wonderful trip is not measured in monetary term, semuanya bergantung to who are in the trip and how u make every second memorable

and for us, it was indeed the most memorable one, above all!

May allah bless this marriage till the end, till we meet again in the hereafter, eternally, Amin

yeay, we are leaving tomorrow, bye bye Korea, welcome malaysia

19th week

2010-11-23T20:06:00.000-08:00

subhanallah, i am now 19 weeks pregnant, time flies really fast that i lost track of my second pregancy calendar, alhamdulillah, everything is good now, i feel more energetic compared to the previous months, perhaps the fact that i have to survive during this 3-weeks OJT whilst making sure the weel being of Fatiha influence my mindset to stay healthy and alive.

nonetheless, i would schedule for detail scan/appointment with O&G as soon as i touch down, to ensure everything IS truly fine.

more information is here:
19th week pregnant

on the other side, life in korea is not bad at all, we managed to survive the first week on their food, which mainly consists of vegetables, kimchi (pickles), fish, sea shells and of course their own pork of many styles. oh gosh, i really miss fried chicken, char kuey teow, nasi lemak and roti canai. i cook everyday, very humble one-set dish using the rice cooker for Fatiha and Kakda who usually stay in the hotel room all day long as the weather outside is quite depressing, bear in mind guys, it is winter in Korea now, so u can guess what's the weather like.

the first week passed by quickly as the schedule of training was very hectic, classses ran from 8-7 daily, with only an hour break for solat, lunch and stretching our back. the first weekend here went away due to site visit to the east coast of Korea, some 300km away. So i am hoping for better for this upcoming weekend. Yes, it is Nami Island, Dongdae-mun market and some souvenir shopping for all the beloved families back home.

Before that trip, i have to stock up more shrimp and fish for daily cooking in the hotel, and make a long list of what to buy for them all, especially buat suamiku tercinta yang very supportive for this trip yang amat dirindui..bagaimanakah khabar kakanda?

For that, i better stop now as the afternoon class is about to start, and i need to call Kakda and Fatiha to check on their condition, dah makan ke ape ke kan?

Oh yes, to those who may miss the international news, we are safe here despite the tensions between the North and SOuth Korean hence the military attack at the Pyeongyon Island, some hundred kilometers from Incheon, the international airport.

Pray for us all, amin....

ticking!

2010-11-13T16:04:00.000-08:00

in less than 36 hours, i still have plenty to do:

beli barang nk masak rendang ayam
masak rendang ayam
goreng ikan bilis
top up some food stock
packing!
study for sediment transport exam tomorrow!

ya Allah, give me strength to get through all this!

Amin

leaving

2010-11-10T22:00:00.000-08:00

checklist before leaving:

pay for Fatiha's and Kakda's ticket
print their ticket
change money
clear credit card
check fatiha's clothes
glove for Kak da and more socks for both of them
pack medicine
buy and pack some food
packing

BUT , i still have to prepare for the upcoming TWO papers i.e. Esok, and Isnin, dont know how to answer as I have not read anything yet at this 24-hour before exam.. mmg menangis la mlm ni nk study maut..

harapnya saya sempat la masak rendang ayam hari sabtu tuh buat bekalan raya haji suami tersayang, kesian dia sbb terpaksa sambut raya haji sorang2..

hopefully the trip will be fine, and above all, semua orang selamat and come back home intact!

doakan kami ye,

p/s: best nya kalau suami dpt ikut sama, apakan daya, rakyat Malaysia sangat memerlukan khidmat suamiku..huhu

confused

2010-11-08T03:05:00.000-08:00

i wanna write, but i dont know what to write about, a lot have come across my mind, from exams to work to family and it all juggles up in this little tiny brain of mine, i am tired...sigh, in this big world, i feel tiny, like a bug who's trying to make a good living in the world full of dinousaurs, i've decided but many dont favour it, i feel like i follow my guts without thinking further..i am a risk taker, for the payback that sometimes not worth of even a small portion of it...and for now, i just want to relax, try to seek the strength that i used to have, from Him Lord of the A'lamin...

Reminder

2010-10-31T20:40:00.000-07:00

‎Narrated Abu Hurairah (RA): ALLAH's Messenger SAW said,

"If the people knew (the reward for) pronouncing the Adhan and for standing in the first row (in congregational prayers /Solat Jamaah) and found no other way to get that except by drawing lots, they would do so.

And if they knew the reward of offering the Zuhr prayer early (in its stated time), they would race for it.

And if they knew the reward for ‘Isha’ and Fajr prayers in congregation (jemaah), they would attend them even if they were to crawl.”

thanks to a fren of mine, that I could share this.

PROUD!

2010-10-26T04:03:00.000-07:00

I am sooo PROUD of him! For the first time ever his effort is acknowledged!

Good luck for your exam tomorrow Abang!

Medical professionalism: Doctors are shining examples of dedication

2010/10/26
DR TAN ENG BEE, Kajang, Selangor
letters@nst.com.my

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MY wife was admitted to Putrajaya Hospital on Oct 10 for a spinal fusion surgery.

The operation took four hours.

I was pleased with the dedication of the two doctors who did the surgery: Dr Tan Chor Ngee, the principal orthopaedic surgeon, and Dr Abbas.

Dr Tan took the time to explain the outcome of the surgery at the waiting room after the surgery, provided vital information for my consumption, put me at ease by saying he felt good about the surgery and that he had done his best to correct the spinal damage.

These two doctors exhibited a high degree of professionalism and commitment to their vocation.

Their commitment and attitude is highly commendable and should be emulated by those in the public service.

Read more: Medical professionalism: Doctors are shining examples of dedication http://www.nst.com.my/nst/articles/19mep/Article#ixzz13Shwc8pa

lantakla orang nak ckp aku over acting ke perasan ke ape, yang penting aku bangga dgn suami sendiri, haha!

updates

2010-10-10T18:51:00.000-07:00

dah bersawang lagi blog ni, sejak pregnant mmg rasa malas sgt nk update, bukan sahaje malas nk update blog, malas nk lipat kain, malas nk basuh baju, malas nk buat assignment, malas tu, malas ni..sume MALAS

this is not good, not good at all for the growing baby in the womb, ya Allah, jgnla jadikan anak ini terikut perangai ibunya yang buruk2 ni, jadikan dia orang yang beriman, anak yang soleh, berjaya dunia akhirat..

byk btol nk kene update:

raya this year was a bliss, alhamdulilllah, abbas cm biase la kerja as early as raya ke 2, so we just had hari raya pertama to enjoy, seb baik kampung kita dekat, kalau tak sure masam2 muka jugak
abis raya, continue dgn short trip to PD plak, suka hati Fatiha dapat berendam lame2 dlm air
pastu masuk kerja, but the celebration continues with open house, jemputan raya sana sini, makan dan makan lg smpi perut buncit nangis2 sakit
now, back to school, and busy with work
next week outstation from ahad to saturday (8 days in a row) back to back, Fatiha cannot follow me this time due to some unavoided reasons, so Abbas and her sister will take turn, i am not driving too, so not enough space to allow for Fatiha and the babysitter

and the best thing of all, this is the final week of classes, after this exam plak...........:(

before the end of next week, i have to submit the following:

test 2 open channel, thursday 14th Oct (blum study lg)
site visit report (DONE)
assignment hydr str (DONE)
assignment open channel (not started)
SEEP W model (not even started)
HEC-RAS model (not started)
SED TRANS EXCEL MODEL (tk tau nk buat, rs cm tnk buat!)

banyaknye! masa dh tkde ni..

Salam Aidilfitri

2010-09-07T18:17:00.001-07:00

Assalamualaikum

Kepada semua saudara mara, sahabat handai, jiran tetangga, semua yang mengenali kami

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

Maaf Zahir Batin

kepada yang pulang ke kampung, berhati-hati memandu

Insya allah, jemputlah datang ke rumah, tapi beritahu dahulu, takut2 abbas kerja atau kami keluar pergi beraya pulak

dari:

Azwin, Abbas, Fatiha and Baby dalam perut..

p/s: lepas ni nk keluar sekejap cari baju raya untuk diri sendiri, blum sempat beli lagi

REJECTED

2010-09-04T15:22:00.000-07:00

our Korean's 2 months training application to HR was rejected!

years of preparation, months of discussions, numerous meetings, emails, and all arrangement made by various agencies, our counter part **PC*, all turned into dust, with just one line of email from *R

my deepest condolence goes to the PL and the rest of the project team, Allah is indeed the All-Planner, All-Wiser

'And put your trust in Allah, and sufficient is Allah as a Trustee.' (Al Ahzab:3)

hectic ramadhan

2010-08-25T18:14:00.000-07:00

before i start rambling further, alhamdulillah...i am expecting! due date is April 22nd (based on Abbas's calculation), i've not yet seen the dr, but will do so soon..

yet, i am fighting the associated sickness with exams and weekly oustation to the whole peninsular, sounds crazy but i have to complete it before the Korea's one month training...

so many things i have to get done in this Holy Month:

exam 1 - 15/8 - Sediment transport (done horribly)
exam 2 - 21/8 - Open channel (ok la)
exam 3 - 28/8 - dam structure (tk smpat lg study)
o/s to kluang 6/8
o/s to jb - 18/8-19/8
o/s chenderoh -24/8-25/8
o/s kt - 30/8
o/s perlis 2/9-3/9
o/s chenderoh - 6/9-7/9

after that, no more o/s please, i really need this last few days of ramadhan for Him...i miss to taste the sweetness of this Holy month, yet I am so far from it..so far

Welcome Ramadhan Mubarak!

2010-08-09T20:03:00.000-07:00

insya allah, Ramadhan mubarak is coming again tomorrow..

to all, may this holy month bring up the best of all,

i have so many things that I want to do on my list, but i'd rather keep it to myself, if it is succesful, then Alhamdulillah and hope to continue till the end of life

Allah, please give me, my husband, my daugther and the rest of muslims, the utmost strength to go through this month,

Please make this training month a platform for us to increase our Iman, so we become better servant of You

Amin...

morning sharing

2010-07-29T21:52:00.000-07:00

i would like to share this morning lite fm's discussion on

ARE YOU 100% HONEST IN YOUR MARRIAGE?

Zack said yes, whilst Sara disagreed. Me? A bit between the two..

Why?

At first I definitely thought that we have to be 100% honest in marriage, which means every single aspects of it must be dealt with 100% honesty, whether we like it or not. But after listening to a few opinions by the callers, my initial thought shifted slightly.

Here are some justifications to that:

honesty is absolutely expected in every marriage, if you are dealing with relationship and affair i.e. no cheating on spouse, being loyal and truthful at all times. It is sacred bonding between a male and female, which legalised male-female physical relationship. It is the base of all familiy institution hence society that failure in such marriage would result in various social problems as what is happening now.
some leniancy is acceptable, ONLY if ONLY to ensure no one gets hurt by either actions or speeches. It is as simple as ' How do I look today? How is my cooking? Is it good? Am I fat?' Questions like this are often thrown by women directly to the husband (in some case, it is vice versa), and women's expectation is always on the high side that they would not or difficult to tolerate any signs of rejection or dissatisfaction. Sometimes it is just difficult for us to accept the truth which is often not on our side.

Just my humble conclusion, I would try to be as honest as possible (as I mentioned earlier, only Item no 2 is acceptable for leniancy) whilst balancing between truth and good feeling of my beloved husband.

To you all, use your wisdom to act correctly. Seek guidance from Allah, and you know your spouse!

2010-07-26T01:22:00.000-07:00

i must regret that the weekend is now gone, thought Abbas worked on Saturday and only came back the next day the feeling of threesome was definitely there. i didnt go back to Smenyih as Mak and Ayah went to Johor for Ijoy's (the cousin) engagement, and the rest of my siblings were working on Saturday, so i just stayed at home, doing C.H.O.r.E.S

to all working moms out there, weekend is time to recover all the should-have-been-done-hence-completed-chores that were missed over the busy wekdays, normally my weekend started as early as Friday evening washing the pile of dirty clothes, drying and folding the usual 3-4 baskets full of dry clothes, then followed by some night rest watching TV or reading book, depending on the condition of Fatiha, if she is in good mood.

On saturday, whilst defrosting chicken, i showered Fatiha and got her ready, and when she watched TV, i prepared the simple breakfast by just stri-frying the egg noodles. Abbas left for work as early as 7.00am, so i just made coffee for him to start off his day. Once the breakfast ready, we had it together before I dragged her along to Mydin for grocery shopping. Before boredom killed me by dragging me to bed, I shut it off by cooking chicken rendang. Haha, I love cooking! And putting Fatiha to sleep while waiting for the rendang to be properly 'cooked' or 'kering'. She was bit cranky that she cried, for about half an hour due to the blocked nose, I tried very hard to calm her down that I ended up shedding some tears, as I was lost not knowing what to do,

Then, she repaid me by having 3 hours sleep that I managed to clean the messed-up kitchen due to rendang preparation, and watched NAt Geo. She woke up asking for nasi, for which I knew she was fine. And abbas came home that nite joining us for unplanned homemade dinner, featuring the ever pedas Rendang Ayam, Telur Dadar and Nasi.

As in the next morning, I woke up early doing the usual things - showering fatiha, rendam botol susu dalam boiled water, cleaned up our room followed by nasi lemak..I love cooking so much, especially for my family..
Abbas finished work at 9.30, then we had the homemade nasi lemak together. As Fatiha was recovering from the blocked nose, we managed to squeeze 4 hours watching 2 Towers LOtR Extended Version, YippiE!

So, despite catching up with messed up home and missing/delayed chores, weekend does offer some rihlah for working mothers like me, just try to search for what you love doing and do it! be it cooking, kemas-ing, sewing or even lepak-ing depan TV!

perkongsian

2010-07-22T20:01:00.001-07:00

alhamdulillah, pagi tadi sempat dengar sekejap motivasi pagi by Ustaz Hasrizal Abdul Jamil di IKIM on my way to work, fatiha pn behaved very well that she agreed to listen to radio instead of the usual Humpty Dumpty Nursery RHymes..

just to share,

Adalah sangat penting untuk ibubapa menjadi contoh terbaik untuk anak-anak. Anak2 sgt memandang tinggi kepada ibu bapa yang menjadi Hero dan heroin untuk mereka, sperti Ultraman, Barney dsb.

Biasa parents bertanya, kenapa anak sy tk nak dengar cakap? Tapi kalau cikgu atau kartun kat tv mudah je dia ikut, jadi kita tgk ape Barney dan Ultraman tuh buat kepada anak2 kita..sekali kala kita luangkan masa tonton rancangan2 tersebut dengan mereka, kadang2 kita dapati 'barney nih sgt lembut bila memberi nasihat, ceria dengan baju yang warna warni, selalu je menyanyi utk kanak2' so mungkin itu yang anak kita mahukan,

ape kata cuba approach Barney pula, 'pakaila pakaian yang cantik2 walaupun hanya di rumah, takkan dari pagi smpi malam dengan baju kelawar je, rambut tak bersikat, jgn kata suami, anak2 pn tk gembira tgk kita sbg ibunya, apatah lagi nk dengar nasihat atau kata2 kita, tuh tak campur dengan pekikan jeritan kita nak minta tlg mereka kemas permainan dsb"

Kalau untuk kaum bapa pula, cuba tgk bagaimana macho-nya Ultraman beraksi menyelamatkan manusia dari raksasa jahat, tak perlu banyak bertempik2 atau naik tangan, hanya perlu datang and act accordingly. so bila anak2 nampak, dia rasa 'Wah, hebatnya Ayah saya halau lipas tuh, hebatnya Ayah saya sambut saya melompat dari tangga, kalau tau sure sy dah jatuh, wah hebatnya ayah saya main bola"

lagi satu, buangkan tabiat menggunakan ayat- ayat seperti 'Ayah kerja cari duit nak bagi kita makan, ibu sebuk di pejabat supaya dapat cari duit lebih utk beli baju baru kamu" ayat2 seperti ini semuanya memberikan impak negatif bahawa ibubapa terpaksa bekerja demi mencari duit, dan hanya duit, kerana nak belikan itu ini utk anak2. mereka tidak nampak kebaikan yang ibubapa mereka buat melalui bekerja

instead, Ustaz kata gunakan ayat2 sperti ' Ayah kamu kerja keras untuk selamatkan nyawa orang, ayah kamu memberikan kebaikan kepada orang lain, contohnya; Ayah bawa lori yang berisi barang-barang keperluan supaa semua orang boleh beli dan dapatkan dengan mudah, Ayah mengajar student2 universiti supaya jadi pelajar cemerlang dan dapat perkejaan yang baik dsb

jadi pengajarannya,

berusahalah jadi Hero dan Heroin di mata anak2

"peringatan ini untuk sy juga, kadang2 kerap terkeluar jeritan2 yang tak sesuai untuk Fatiha, harap dapatla ubah selepas ni, Amin..."

Nota di atas adalah berdasarkan kepada ceramah Ustaz pagi tadi, with some addition on my own

Peringatan untuk diri

2010-07-21T19:18:00.000-07:00

tak tau nk tulis ape, otak sgt serabut lately, keje byk but keje mmg tkkn pernah habis tp tiba2 rasa cm lost, hilang arah tujuan, takde semangat meneruskan kehidupan...

dulu IKIM selalu buat ceramah through darul hikmah, everyday at 7.30 tapi sekarang dh ganti dgn motivasi pagi plak, it was my fav, at least dpt juga dengar some ayat2 Quran or ilmu to compensate tk sempat baca Quran (teruknya kan?), one of the quote ' Bila nk mencari ketenangn hati, zikirlah sebanyak-banyaknya"

tapi bila zikir, kadang2 tak rs tenangn jugak, ape sebabnye?

mungkin sbb zikir hanya pd lidah, tapi tidak pada hati.

oleh itu, zikirlah dgn hati, sesungguhnya kita nih tak pernah keseorangan, ada Allah tempat memohon pertolongan,

Oh Allah, the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Give me strength

Give me patience

Berikan kami ketenangan hati

berikan kami petunjuk

Agar sentiasa di jalan-Mu yang lurus

p/s: Alhamdulillah, the new schedule for Ramadhan is already up, and I am loving every bit of it. Yeay, no classess over the weekdays, so buka puasa at home and terawikh with Fatiha and Abbas at masjid, insya ALlah.

Amin..

A FAmosa Rvisited - Day 1

2010-07-14T19:28:00.000-07:00

i ended my first semester break with a trip to A Famosa, yippe!

we werent quite sure of the trip until Abbas called me to inform the good news that he got one weekend off (to many, every weekend is off, but not to a doctor ey), so i immediately called A Famosa ticketing hotline to book for a 2D1N package consists of water world, animal safari and carnival.

so on Friday after work, i packed up everything, and Abbas surprised me with Muslimah swimmin suit, i was so happy to be given such timely gift..thank you very much abang, he knows exactly what i need when i need it

on saturday, we left home at about 9-ish, stopped by famous lot 10 (at Kg Abu Bakar Baginda) for quick breakfast before headed to A FAmosa, we arrived about 1 hour later then i registered instead of checking in as we were told that checking in only opened at 4pm...

so, we went straight to water world, parking was almost full by the time we arrived but we managed to find a good spot under a tree, Fatiha was super duper excited when Abbas put her swimming suit on, she knew it was swimming time (oh my daughter loveeessss swimming and anything related to water, termasuklah longkang okay), we stopped by a shop to get a pelampung for fatiha

yeah, aktiviti berendam pun bermula..minta maaf, gambar yang tak censored saja akan di upload (sy masih menunggu clearance dari Ketua Keluarga)

we ended the swimming, mandi-manda, sliding down the pool yada-yada at about 3pm (4 hours of dipping) as fatiha was very tired and sleepy, so we changed her clothes despite her screams to keep on playing in the kiddies pool

as we got into the car, she felt asleep instantly and we headed to small Pekan Tampin and Pulau Sebang to check out some stalls for snack, banana fritters and cendol...oh, sgt sedap ye cendol makcik pulau sebang yang hanya RM 1, or RM 1.20 with pulut..santan ori ok, no santan tepung
we stopped by a nicely decorated restaurant for Kuey Tiow and Mee goreng after fatiha woke up

about 5-ish, we checked in, wahhh, the studio given to us is huge, with nice view of the golf resort, 2 queen beds, dining table of 4, sofa of 3, TV, kitchen, with fridge, kettle, etc

okay, will update on exciitng day 2 with pics soon, i am sleep deprived as Fatiha is not feeling well

bye..

stupid driver but happy day!

2010-07-07T05:28:00.000-07:00

by the time this entry is written, my rage and anger had already gone, that i am now at peace

today was full of ups and down...and the climaax hit on when i was heading home...

it all went well today until there was a last minute call for a prepatory meeting for tomorrow's SIRIM audit session, i had submitted and followed the requirement dilligently that i needed not to worry but instructions came from the top for us to finalise the documents again, so there i went to library, ran to my room to fill up some forms and eventually grabbed the signature from the bossess...sigh! i hate last minute call like this but it was sooo relieving that it was all done and i managed to reduce the tense by abundance of laughter whilst helping Kak Zura fixing her Bahasa melayu letter out...

it was 5.30 that i got into the car and rushed to the Taska to pick up fatiha, it was raining that i decided to drive instead of walk, as i put her on the seat, and i drove down the narrow one way lane which topographically follow the shape of Slide, a car on the opposite side rammed up that I had to brake promptly then i heard loud bang on the dashboard and fatiha cried her lung out! I was extremely mad that thousands of bad words and swearing came out of my mouth! he should have stopped and let me go first since I was driving down the ramp, he definitely saw me from far and below so one minute wait would not cost him a bomb, after all he is a senior guy that earns triple as much me, why would risk one's life for the sake of saving 2 ringgit from additional time...

Sectional view

Plan View

Astaghfirullah, i cried whilst trying to calm fatiha down, her forehead was reddishly swollen with one indent mark just above her eye, 'she hit the sharp corner of the DVD player but Allah spare it from her beautiful left eye or I would be seeing that stupid s*N of B*tch tomorrow to fix him up! i admit partly it was my fault that fatiha didnt sit properly in the car, but hey, we dont drive at 60km/h near schoold or wherevers kids are playing, right! after all, the reflection mirror was damn big enough for anyone from far to see the incoming car as our vision whilst driving down were limited by the Blind Spot! grrrrr, seriously i cursed him all the way home..but i never prayed for anything bad to happen to any of his kids...sometimes we adult worry more about letting our kids waiting, worry more about paying extra, worry more of this and that, until a point we forgot to appreciate what we have,

i immediately called abbas telling him what happened, i was sobbing that he asked me to calm down and meet him at hospital, about 15mins later, we met and i showed him Fatiha's forehead..he convinced me that it was ok, the swollen part will relieve soon

then, he brought us to have early dinner at Pakistani Briyani House, Fatiha has her chicken sheesh, while abbas and I had chicken briyani..

Alhamdullillah, and now Fatiha is asleep, and Abbas had gone back to work..

Our Happy Family

Umi loves bapak,

bapak loves umi,

we both love fatiha and

fatiha loves us

Amin....

planning ahead

2010-07-04T17:47:00.000-07:00

this is the last week of me having free nights as second semester will resume next week. classess will be on tues, wed, and thurs and i am still negotiating to have that thursday's class shifted to Sunday or Saturday so i could have more nights at home, Fatiha is growing up so fast that she requires more attention than me, plus Abbas will be having his pre-requisite ortho examination sometimes in October so he needs time to do revision as well.

For the past two months, i have been enjoying every seconds at home, and I am very comfortable with the current schedule, cooking after work, having dinner at 7.30 and going to bed at 9.30 with Fatiha..and now all of these have to be changed, so i need to wake up much early to prepare food for dinner, shower Fatiha (which i just started about one week ago), ironing on Saturday and fold all the clothes, say on Friday, I am very conservative and traditional and I hate to move out of my comfort zone, sigh..........

but the hardest of all changes would be finding babysitter for fatiha in case abbas could not be at home before 6, for those days..all this while, i asked ALang to help me out but she is now working so i need to resolve for another option, i spent the whole last night whilst feeding fatiha thinking about this, and deep down, i remember praying to Allah for his help

so this morning, i talked to one of the babysitter, Jamilah...she looks yonger than her age, petite, cute but loud, haha..she's very vocal i must say,

i asked for her favour to look after fatiha from 6 to 9 (in case Abbas is not home, and I could not afford to skip that particular session), she is married with two, and lives in a govt quarters near MPOB, which is about 5mins from my place, in fact she has been taking children to her home after Taska closes at 6pm, and she babysits on weekends too. her rate is quite reasonable too.

I am not worry too much for weekend as I have in-laws and my parents to look after her, or rather playing with her, i am very grateful that Fatiha is very much loved and missed by both of her grandparents that she is always welcome!

again, alhamdulillah for showing me the way.

so, lets this semester begin, oh yes, i need to arrange all the files, calculator and my stationary case, and learn to sleep a bit late...

gambatte Awin-chan!

tah ape2 tah

2010-06-29T20:24:00.000-07:00

semalam seharian sy, wani dan lecturer UNI*** berkampung di bilik mesyuarat T*NT di PJ untuk menyiapkan presentation slides on our new project for real time slope monitoring. the purpose is to present to concept to VP to get his endorsement so we can easily convince the next two committees, whom would otherwise reject the ideas..

about 4pm, we managed to get the chief engineer's endorsement, excpet with some minor details that we need to work out at our office before final submission to him this friday..on our way back, it was raining heavily that it took us about 50 minutes to reach office.

lepas ambil fatiha dari taska, sy rs sgt tk sihat, perut sakit, kepala berpusing2 and penat sgt2. smpi rumah, trus siapkan ape2 yg patut for dinner, ayam ade skit je, so i just marinated and deep fried it all. udang yang ade tuh sy buat la masak lemak cili api, tp tk tau nape rs kurang pedas and tak sedap. maybe tekak sy yg sakit kot...

suami sy balik around 6.45pm, so we had dinner sambil tgk wordworld, kitorg mmg suka rancangan ni sbb sgt2 informative. lepas solat maghrib, sy tak rs tk larat sgt that i fell asleep right away depan tv. suami sy naik atas study, fatiha plak active bkan main that she jumped and slide on me..mmg dh xlarat buat ape2 that i left her playing alone, kesian btol..

sy bgn sekejap then tidor balik dgn fatiha dlm pukul 10 sbb dengar suami sy ckp "susahnye nk tidurkan awak ni budak kecik," kesian tgk suami sy dh penat lyn karenah fatiha tp still tk tidur, so sy pn bgn, trus ambil dia dan ajak tidur, susukan trus la anak dara tuh terlelap..smbil senyum "haha, umi menang!'

pukul 2.30, suami bgn tgk spain vs portugal, sy stay tidur tp rs tk selesa sbb sgt2 sejuk gigil2 ni..kol 4 cmtuh, rs basah kt baju, tgk fatiha punye pampers dh kuyup, so sy pn bgn tukarkan siap dgn baju baru, apelagi, trus la anak dara tuh bgn...ajak main, ajak turun bawah...sy pn layan la sbb suami dh mengantuk semula, lgpn dia kene masuk OT, kang terpotong laik plak...
so sy layan la dia bace buku tgk pocoyo, madagascar tanpa ade perasaan marah skit pn..kenape pn sy tk tau, mungkin otak sy dh pening sgt smpi biar je la...

smbil dia tgk pocoyo, sy usha2 la job street, heheh, nak cari kerja baru la konon, tp tkde satu pn yg hit interest sy...sy tk suke site supervision, sy tk suke contracting, sy tk suke manage resources, planning apetah lagi...

ape yg sy suke sume tkde vacancies, sy gatal2 la cek kalau2 kt middle east nk pakai modeller, tkde plak...

last2 sy tutup pc, ajak fatiha tidur...tgk jam dh pukul 6, so solat subuh dulu

sy tidur, bgn kol 9, tgk suami tkde...alahai, sian suami sy tk dpt coffee before gi keje, nape tk bgnkan sy..

bila bangun, first time came to my mind

"keje je la, sy tkde ape2 skills and kelebihan pn kalu nk mintak keje lain"

oh ya Allah, sgt2lah demotivated, smpi la skarang (now dh pukul 1tgh hari)

c.O.n.f.U.s.e.D

2010-06-25T03:14:00.000-07:00

sad to inform that my one week MC leave is almost over, and i will be coming back to office on Monday, with pile of works on the table...or rather saved in the ancient desktop of mine..

one week at home flew so fast that i forgot how i babysitting my own daughter, running around the house to get all chores done, cooking, washing and folding clothes, vacuumming, sweeping the floor and the car porch (which normally would take me ages to do that)...each second spent at home, or rather managing it was fun and meanigful, despite the whole tiredness..despite lying down or resting my dislocated left shoulder, i took the whole chance to learn on how to become a fulltime housewife, which was definitely more satisfying than preparing tender spec, managing project, scolded here and there and running the simulation back in the office...

the thought of becoming full time housewife has always been there, but i just couldnt do it at the moment, to be honest i can live with only one car, no shopping for clothes (which i barely do), cheap nokia 3310 handphone and decent food, but again i have debt all around me, i still owe T*b, my parents and the society that I dont feel it is the time for me to quit as yet

unless...

they dont need me anymore, or rather i feel no longer needed, i want to do them good, give them my best shot in all works assigned to me, complete job order in time to the highest quality, and i always pray to Allah to give me strength to get through all the challenges...requests for training and funding for studies are turned down, platform for betterment is never there unless you work your ass out searching for it without guidance, and lack of appreciation, or even "hey, thanks for what you did"

sometimes people just dont know how to appreciate, stupid statements like "i thought you have got enough training""i dont think its the time for you to do this as yet" " you are too young" "are you sure you are up for this" are burning my heart, sould and brain that i feel like leaving now...you dont know what we do here, how we work day and night to get our paperwork accepted, all you say is BIG NO!

but, i dont know is grass really green on the other side? or is the grazing field not suitable for my appetite?

and after all, who wants me?

i am lost, but yet i am still hoping...

mY heRo!!!

2010-06-20T16:57:00.000-07:00

(nih gambar lame, mase abbas kje kt ireland, aku dtg visit withfatiha 5-mo in tummy)

mak, Ayah and alang came to our place yesterday, with main purpose to send alang for further examination in orthoapedic dept of Putrajaya Hospital, to ascertain the criticality of her scoliosis problem. she's been having this for quite some time, but only this year's examination at Hosp Kajang revealed that the situation has worsened, i.e. the curvature has increased from 15 deg to 19 deg, so we want to get third expert review on the need for her to undergo surgery, but alhamdulillah, yesterday's finding proved its remote possibility for that..

many thanks to dear husband and his team for your time and advice, but we'll still continue reglar check up at Hosp Kajang and follow their advice, just like what they said..

cut the story short, all of them left at about 6, after fatiha, falah and i came back from the kiddies-swimming session at P16. and i started to do some cleaning,folded some dried clothes and and brought them all up to our room for ironing..

as i walked to the other room where we hang all our old jackets, glimpse of our treadmill suddenly caught my eyes, then i realised, 'lamenye tak guna treadmill ni, smpai berabuk dah' so put on the running shoes, switched it on and jogged slowly, then i increased the speed hence more runnning, and when all the sweats ran down my face, i reduced the speed a bit, as i tried to wipe my sweaty face with the hand towel happened to be on the rail then all off sudden i slipped and fell on the running belt, and again on the floor...

it was very painful and i tried to stand up but i could not move my whole left arm, 'alamak, patah ke ape ni', all i remembered was to walk to my room and grabbed the phone and called abbas who was on call

''abang, umi jatuh td, tangan landing atas lantai, rs cm patah je" sambil menangi, takut dan rsau
"takpe2, just rileks, abg balik skarang"

i looked at the clock on the wall, sakit sgt ni, 15 mins lg br abbas smpi, so berzikir la sket2 to diverty the pain away

about 7.16pm, abbas arrived, fuh! pegang2 skit kt lengan kiri pastu sengih ckp, 'nih dislocated nih' i can relocate it here without sedation or in hospital, if u need sedation'

sakit tak??..ape punye soalan da

sakit la, tp wont be long..(confirm la aku tk caye, dr mane penah ckp sakit kt patient kan, hehe?

i looked at fatiha who was sleeping very soundly, and 'tkpela abg, kt sini je la, tahan je la kot"

abbas pegang my whole left arm, pushed it away from my body and magic "krappp, bunyi tulang mletup, sangat sakit then i screamed kuat cm org gila! but it was sooooooooooo relieving and i could again move my arm, syukur nye!

then, i took shower, changed clothes to follow abbas to hopsital to get an arm sling, MC and some painkiller but seriously i thought of not needing any, sbb the pain was really off!

about 9-ish, abbas sent me home, as he left for work...

aku senyum sorg cm org gila with tgn ber-andoh sambil tman fatiha tgk PHDC..serius kagum sbb first time tgk abbas in action, cool gile weh!!

'thanks a lot for that, abang..terima kasih sgt2 sbb balik and relocate my shoulder, hantar gi spital, bagi mc and ubat, thanks for being there when i needed u the most'

kalau perempuan, confirm aku dh bg bunga, nih tk tau nk bagi ape...nk msak sedap2 tgh cacat plak...

but i owe u one! a big one syg!!

need for a holiday

2010-06-17T18:54:00.000-07:00

yes! that is what i really need at the moment before the hectic schedule hits me again next month onwards...

classess for the new semester will begin on 12th July, and continue for 8 consecutive weeks before the mid semester break in early Sept to make way for Hari Raya hols, but that might not be the case for me since I had applied for approval to present papers to ISRS in RSA, and i have been waiting for this for almost a year, but i have yet to get confirmation from CE* office, ' harap2 dorg approve la, paper sy dh approve by the organiser, tp mgmt nih biasenye tgk kt pengalaman kerja dan gred kita (sy mmg gred rendah la kan), tuh yg sy takut tk approve' last info sy dpt dari that office, "we are still reviewing your request" mak ai, nampak sgt tak dpt ni..ntahla, i leave it to Allah"

for those who have strived, the door is always open

on top of the classes, most of the meetings scheduled for June 2010 were all being pushed forward to July, making my timetable almost full. lucky that there are three of us, so we decided to only send one rep per meeting, or the related project leader so the messages picked up during each meeting can be acted upon easily..

so, before everything begins, i am now craving for a holiday, but the financial says otherwise since my claim for May is still pending, and Abbas is working on every weekend for the whole June..one of the senior manager told me to just go (of course with consent from husband la), just like what people in the west do, but i dont think i could do that, the thoughts of leaving my husband behind working and i, spending time lying on the white sandy beach in Hatyai or dipping in the pool with Fatiha or even strolling down Bangkok hawkers stall are intolerable of me, serious tk sampai hati douh!

unless...

my one week outstation trip to Gerik could be however change to short weekend getaway IF, i continue the journey to Penang, lodge in to Tg Bungah Hotel or Batu Feringhi with lots of food, pasemboq, nasi kandar, laksa, huhu....

so lets wait for Abbas to come home first, then we decide,

fatiha's late night creative time

2010-06-10T19:26:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum

last night was one of the many difficult nights with Fatiha, against all odds, she woke up at 3.40am, started being cranky and asked for Abbas to hold her, at that time, i knew that would be her call to watch Pocoyo or Madagascar stored in the PC hard drive, merely for unknown reasons..

Abbas was quite mad at her, but he neither raised his voice, nor even a long sigh came out of him..he is very patient when it comes to handling Fatiha, whilst I was about to pinch her for doing that, again to teach her a lesson and discipline with time..so he switched on the PC, browsed throught the folder and played the Pocoyo-Pato Es Mio (one of her favs), not even 1 minute watching, he asked for one of Abbas surgery clip, then she made another request in less than a minute interval..and me? I sat next to them watching her closely, thinking of what to do.."I must do something, so Abbas could go back to sleep, he is on call tomorrow which means no-sleep-hence-terrible-worktime-emotionally-disturbed!!"

So, instead of going back to sleep as instructed by Abbas the lovely husband whilst he babysat fatiha, I went downstairs, grabbed my unused personal organiser cum Fatiha's drawing book, along with a few books on animal, and took them all to our room.

"Fatiha, jom main lukis2, kita lukis kt meja tuh nak, kat sini tak muat, nanti umi lukis gajah, ayam, kucing bla bla bla"

Alhamdulillah, Fatiha nodded and we were off to her desk (meja kartun2 aku beli rm 10 kt Pasaraya Sakan kt Semenyih) and started to show her my poor drawing skills, and I looked at Abbas, winked "Gi la tidur, esok on call, umi kerja office je, boleh tidur time lunch"

Abbas pn tidur, and I stayed up with her for about 2 hours until she yawned and dragged me to bed again,

I woke up late, terlajak Subuh, teruknya....

So, next to do:

buy a drawing board with A3 papers that can be flipped
colourful magic pens
sticker of many animals
pallette
colourful paint

In case she does this again, insya Allah I am ready, so Abbas could have his undisturbed sleep for better day at work, kang takut tersalah potong kaki, sian kt orang tuh

Oh Allah, give me strength to raise my kids to become righteous person, successful in this world and hereafter

AMin...

entri untuk suami

2010-06-07T21:56:00.000-07:00

alhamdulillah, 2 june yang lepas genapla usia perkahwinan kami yang ketiga..i cannot express how grateful and blessed I am, all praise to Allah, for giving me the best that I could ever imagine, my other half, my best friend, my imam, father to my child, the guardian and many other titles that I could not list down..

to many who know him, nothing is special, he is just like other guy,

to me, he means everything

walking down the memory lane, i knew him during our preparation programme, about 10 years back, he was of no interest to me at all. we attended the same English class, along with Azie my best friend, Murni yang comel, Rabiah yang baik hati, Ija, Chee Kee and a few more names that I fail to recall. sakit perut la dgn lawak2 die sbb budak2 laki yang lain sumenya skema, baik2 and alim2 camtuh..mase tuh, Azie mmg rapat la gk ngn dia, smpi siap ajak moi gi pasar malam tanjung malim nak beli hadiah tuk dia..kitorg tak rapat pn, sbb takde subjek yg same except English je laa.

lepas dapat results A Level, sy pegi Manchester, dia pegi Ireland. Tak tahun pn uni ape, cume tau tempat sbb Aini sorg2 je budak pempuan yang dpt kt situ. sy plak, sekor2 je budak engine terkontang kanting kt situ, xde kawan sgt. so slalu la chat ngn budak2 pempuan lain cm nasya, nik nur, aimi, fedy, azie, mel... termasuk budak2 laki yg lain. one of them on my YM list is suami la (ms tuh belum suami lg) masa zaman tu, mane ade facebook2 ni, paling hebat pn Yahoo messenger je la. Since sy sorg pompuan budak engine yg kat Manchester ni, selalu la gk budak2 kmys lain dtg menumpang kt rumah, everytime summer or winter break.

sy pn tk tau cmne start baik ngn suami, maybe sbb slalu tegur kt YM last2 jadi rapat, tp xdela jumpe dating2 cm org lain sbb jauh, and segan ngn budak2 melayu..kalau keluar, mesti ada Kak Shadia, yang jadi peneman selama 2 tahun, pernah sekali dtg kt rumah, tp dgn budak2 laki lain la sbb kitorg buat mkn2..masa tuh Kak Lily and Kak Azira la, beria suruh sy berbaik2 and confirmkan btol2 ngn suami...habis promote tak ingat punye..mcm2 dorg ckp..baik, sopan, budi bahasa, beragama...smpi sy naik rimas, tp masalahnya suami plak tak pernah ckp btol2 dia suke ke ape..sy punye konsep plak..kalu nak bercinta, make sure smpi kawin..tnk la tkde ape2

last2 on one fine day, sy dgn tk malunye call suami, tanye trus straight kt die, "awak suka sy ke? kalau ye ckp jela, tk best la cmni, xnkla kwn je tp xde ape2 niat nk kawin ke ape ke" terkejut sy bila suami ckp ' mmg la pn, tak tau ke' adoi, malunye la hai..sy geram sbb xnk ckp btol2, kene gk sy tanye, seb baik ye, kalau tak, sure malu gile

so, lepas grad, kitrog pn kawin, tahun 2007, dapatla anak, namanye Fatiha

lepas kawin, alhamdulillah rezeki makin bertambah

hasil kerja suami selama setahun dptla kami beli brg2 rumah, lengkap tanpa perlu berhutang, beli kereta dan bayar downpayment rumah, sesen pn dia tk guna untuk berjalan2 kt europe or beli bende2 lain tanpa persetujuan sy..walhal boleh je jln2 suka ati sbb duit byk, tp sbb nk setel down punye psl. dia lupakan semua

pengorbanan yang paling besar yg tkkn dpt sy bayar smpi mati bila suami let go offer specialist scheme kt Ireland, reason nye sbb sy tk boleh ikut sbb contract ngn TNB ade lg 7 thn, sebenarnya boleh je tp sy nih bodoh dah skema so takut kene bayar la ape la, last2 sy pujuk suami balik, and dia rela hati lepaskan offer tuh

banyak yg suami buat tuk kami, sy sgt2 kagum dgn concern dia psl anak, mlm2 dia yg bangun bt susu, sy nih jenis liat skit, first 6 months kami sama2 stay up dodoikan fatiha yg colic walhal sy kerja office hour, sumai plak houseman yg asik kene kerja 36hours kat O&G, makan pn tk sempat, tp masih boleh bangun jaga anak, kebajikan Fatiha xpernah dia lupa, sy kdg2 terlewat ambil sbb terleka buat kerja, tp die sentiasa sharp on time, everytime makan, slalu nye sy makan dulu whilst dia babysit Fatiha, walhal dia pun lapar juga, in short, he always put Fatiha above everything in all occasions, smpi kadang2 sy rasa jeles (agak bodoh la statement ni)

kepada suami

thanks for everything, i really mean everything
i look forward to grow old with you, and to love you more and more until we meet again in the next life

bimbinglah saya jadi isteri yang baik, ibu yang baik, dan muslim yang baik

Happy Aniversary!

poor apit

2010-04-30T21:27:00.000-07:00

this entry is specially dedicated to Apit, the youngest brother of mine

his recent SPM results wasnt that good, neither bad, his was average, with 4As, couples of B and D (for all the science subjects which he never liked), he's been trying to switch from Science to Art i.e accounts and economics but the school administration didnt allow him for considerably stupid reason that the school might not have enough so-called cemerlang students later..

and just now, i checked the status of his application to IPTA, and to my surprise, he didnt get any! of course we (all the sisters) went through courses he wanted to do, none of it was on engineering, mostly administration, accounting and economics, so we thought there shouldnt be any problem for him to get through...to me, i understand deep down that his results wasnt that excellent for him to apply for some high-tech to notch courses, what more of scholarships, but takkan la UiTM pn tk dpt? budak2 dpt lg truk pn bersepah je masuk, main2 and tk abis plak tuh..what happen to the transparency of our system? is there leakage anywhere?

sigh, kesian sgt, but all i can do is to fill up the 'rayuan' form for him, with the hope as high as mountain that there will be light at the end of the tunnel, on June 6th..

Ya Allah, kurniakanla adikku peluang yang kedua, sesungguhnya dia anak yang baik, sentiasa taat perintah-Mu, kasihanilah dia...

Amin..

terribly careless

2010-04-25T07:56:00.000-07:00

it was hot mid-day, 3pm when we arrived at the wedding of my technician, somewhere near kajang utama, i was quite excited to go considering how much the bridegroom had helped me in doing various office and field work for the past two years..

after being greeted by the host, i looked around tying to find a good spot for the meal, abbas asked me to check on Fatiha whilst he filled up his plate, i put her on chair, a plastic chair but she insisted to stand on it, so i let it be...next to her was a glass full of cold sirap, of which i didnt know whose it was, so i moved it away, far from her reach...

she started to cry, persistently asked for water, "Umi, nak ais (which means air sejuk), nak air" so I thought "Ok, i'll you a drink but you stay here" On a second thought, "kang jatuh plak, risau tgk kerusi ni" As soon as I turned away, there she fell on the tarmac, crying her heart out, Abbas grabbed her trying to console, and he was lucky she didnt cried that long..

i had my meal, taking only small portion as I had lost the appetite to have for more whilst looking at Fatiha, 'bersalahnya kat anak aku, cmne la aku bleh terpk nk g amik air without dukung dia, tau je dia lasak"

once we were done, we headed back to car when only i realised her forehead was reddishly-swollen, with traces of blood, "ya Allah, apela aku dh buat ni", i wasnt panic, more of regret and guilty, like mountains of guilt!!!

i put myself to deep silence, not knowing what to say nor what to do.. abbas asked me to look around for any grocery shop to ge some ice pack, we stopped by a small restaurant where i bought ice, and wrapped it with her unworn cotton dress to help reducing the swollen part..

then, she fell asleep whilst feeding...

and now, she is asleep again, after 4 hours of playing with bapak, mama, fikah, fali and tania at my in-law's in Kajang..

note to self: no one knows how hard it is for me to have injured my own child, the feeling of guilt is unstoppable, and keeps on growing. i am not a good mother, little that i know about paying close attention to the ever-growing child, what more of anticipating on things to happen, my own judgement is still weak, although i pray hard to Allah to always keep me alert and being spared from all the unwanted, things still happened..

the worst is, it happened to me, as it has always, right before my eyes, due to my own carelessness and above all, inability to anticipate and understand my own child

to fatiha, when u read this, please forgive me, never in my heart to le this happen to you..

Ya Allah, give me strength, guide me always, for I am always blind....

dvd player is down!!

2010-04-20T19:13:00.000-07:00

damn it, our dvd player which is part of the whole home theatre system was suddenly malfunctioned, we realised it yesterday as Fatiha was screaming her heart out to watch ice age,

Fatiha: " Bapak, ice age nak nak"
Abbas: "jap2, bapak pasang ok"
Awin: "sat2, umi tgk load ni"
Abbas: ' aik, nape tkde lampu merah pn"
Awin : 'Alamak, semlm ok je"

Darn! the red light indicator wasn't there at all, so come the mechanic-wannabe tried to change the cord to that similar but definitely it didnt work! fatiha was intensely repeating 'nak ice age nak nak, nak ice age nak nak' so Abbas being calm and creative, switched on the PS3, tried to load the Ratayouille, " kita tgk mouse ek, Ajah (refer to Manny, the elephant in Ice Age ) rosakla sayang' luckily Fatiha agreed, so it was ok then..

later after coming back from UPM (for wtp test 3), i straight went to check on them both..fatiha was doing well, jumping up and down our bed's headboard, so cut the story short, i put her to sleep..

then i tried again to look for solution but i am no electrical/electronic guy la, so i stopped there

mission for today: to go to Seng Heng looking for help!!!!

p/s: it is Fatiha who needs the player more, as most her favs Pocoyo, Disney, Ratatouille and fav of all time ice age 1, 2and 3 are only possible to be played by DVD

notes for moi!

2010-04-19T00:16:00.000-07:00

time flies very fast that i finished my first paper already, another one is coming up on Thursday, which involves a looooottt of reading, so again another work day off for me to focus,
tomorrow would be test 3, so another one whole day of revision for me, i must tell u, exam is reallllly tiring!
fatiha's 2nd birthday would be just three weeks down the road, so i have to start planning what to do, most prolly we would have in her school, atleast she have a lot of friends to celebrate it with!
i have started thinking off sending fatiha to play school, tapi sume nye mahal2 belaka, cekik darah smpi 500 sebulan, baik la aku benti keje bukak skolah sendiri...aku rasa aku pandai gk mengajar...
once exam is over, trip around mesia will begin, heheh (for work though!)

on top of everything, i met all my former classmates in FB, .they are all top-notch engineers now, doing their best in the field that i loved the most, Rachel even quoted me " now I know how to calculate and design, instead of asking you for help" , i really envy them, seriously it was a BIG mistake that I declined Atkins' offer, sekarang kalau nak mintak confirm la tk dpt..

'Allah is the best planner'

Amin

tough month ahead

2010-04-04T20:13:00.001-07:00

assalamualaikum

since i sign up for FB, this blog seems to be unattended, or left abandoned, sigh, Tak baik nye la saya ni, mentang2 FB mudah diakses dari mana2, sy abaikan blog ni, haisy..

April is going the most hectic month for me, in terms of work, study and life (of course). Since I am running out of words, lets just sum it up in bullet points:

final exam begins on 15th April - Hydrology, followed by WTP on 22nd and Fluid Mechanics on 26th, to cope with the exam preparation, i have to take study leave, but of course not for the whole two-weeks, here is the plan; leave on 14th, 21st and 23rd. A lot to be read, to be memorised and practiced! i dont wanna repeat the same thing which resulted on tonnes of frustration as I left the exam room last Sunday, as I failed to memorised the simple formula worth of 10 marks..regret?? Of course, but I leave it to Allah to decide my fate...sedih? Cannot tell u how much, nasib baik ade Fatiha yang comel tempat melepaskan sedih...
proposal on new projects - I need to finalise Chenderoh Lake before presenting it to SJSP early May, also on Lahad Datu Breakwater (baca on breakwater pn tak abis lagi...) and Jor-Bintang Slope Monitoring..product brochure sent by Rapid Matrix is useless since our sites are all remote hence not covered by any Telco service provide, i need to explore the use of satellite signals but zero experience,
birthday kakak - need to find a decent bj kurung for her, as well as for Kakcik and Kak Uda, oh my! I owe my three sisters 3 baju kurungs already!!!
settle my **mb credit card due to *PM academic fees, where to get additional RM 2***? bank robbery ka?
cost estimate on decent plaster ceiling and electrical fittings for 92A, D'ALpinia, again where to raise budget ni? tkkn nk mencuri kot?
EPF withdrawal ...again for D"Alpinia...

takutnye tunggu 9th April ni, to people who are reviewing our applications, please please please please consider me to receive some of your education fund, i need it very much...sangat2

Amin...

anak soleh selamatkan kami

2010-03-23T20:05:00.000-07:00

assalamualaikum

i feel like responding to the topic brought up by IKIM yesterday morning in their daily 7 to 9am forum rakyat, the issue was simple but HUGE,on how to find 'biological father' to the unwanted babies, resulted from adultery (islamic term) or sex before marriage (liberalists) amongst youngsters

first it hit my ears, i raise up hands to seek Allah's protection on all my kids, my generation, families and friends so they will be spared from this. it is definitely sinful and cancerous to the society, its chain of reaction is just difficult to stop, it is just the way i see it...

anyway, my personal view is only the mother knows who are the father, it could be one, or even more than that. at the end of the day, the baby definitely belong to the mother, as it is wrong to 'binti' kan to them. my advice to the mothers, insaflah dan besarkan anak2 ini dengan didikan agama agar mereka tidak akan mengulang kesalahan besar yg lalu,...

it could be due to many things, among others include deterioration of our family institutions, mothers are as busy as fathers at work to bring up more cash to the family towards what they call better life and education for the kids, less time spent at home means less attention being given to them, hence they look for better source of getting insufficient love from friends outside, normally from the opposite sex. i still remember during our school-hood, we were not allowed to engage in any kind of relationship with the men (or boys), even a short phone call from group-work friends would cause us serious interrogation with Ayah. he never allowed us (the girls) to mingle or even say hi to guys, who happened to be our neighbours. Mak would always watch us, and in ready position to report to Ayah on any potential relationships we might have outside. the level of fear was so high that we afraid to do as what our younger sociaty is doing at the moment.

another possibility could be due to high-technology devices that are affordable by all, that parents allow their children to have handphones, laptops and an unstopptable access to internet, from which all sort of bad influences can be obtained easily, free of charge. contacts to the opposite sex are easily made, and lengthened and extended to so-called love just by using handphones and cheap credit, without evn have to meet to get to knwo the person. porn DVDs are right before our eyes, sold everywhere in the night market and by the roadside. I personally curse these people you know! They are one of what I call ' pembawa kemusnahan kepada masyarakat', despite the fact that I sometimes buy the pirated ones from them. I mean what harm could it bring if you just ciplak the cartoons or good family movies, why must the porn being ciplak too?

i personally agree to have girls or boys school instead of co-ed school. although i had received education in the latter, i have no doubt the girls/boys school provide better option to alleviate this social problem. the kids circle of friends would roam around the same gender, hence it limits their extend to reach the opposite sex. although the recent penyakit akhir zaman such as lesbian, homo exist in many of the one-gender school, the quantity is not as much as the boy-girl-love-kinda-thing..

but, definitely, above all, semuanya bermula dengan didikan agama yang cukup. Rasulullah constantly reminded us on this, 'berpeganglah dengan Al Quran dan Sunnah, nescaya tidak akan sesat selama-lamanya'.

saya berdoa, semoga diberikan kekuatan untuk memberikan kasih sayang dan didikan agama yg cukup supaya anak2, saya dan suami selamat dari Neraka. sy juga sgt2 berharap untuk focus full time kepada anak2, jadi suri rumah sepenuh masa, cuma keadaan sekarang sangat2 tidak mengizinkan. tapi saya yakin, masa tuh akan sampai, jika kita yakin dengan pertolongan Allah. biarlah suami je yg cari rezeki untuk kami, insya allah kecukupan pasti ada, walaupun tak lah semewah mana...

Amin, ya rabbal 'alamin...

what is missing?

2010-03-21T07:56:00.001-07:00

to post informative notes to blog is definitely not as easy task, hence i am now targeting on one post for a fortnight, insya allah menjadi la hendaknya

anyway, i have been observing this for quite some time now, merely due to high staff turn over that has been happening since i joined the company, about three years back and to some extent, difficulties to get the right people to join us when we are recruiting..

the question is really...are companies out there no longer capable of providing what is necessary for an employee? or is the employee now become picky when it comes to job?

I refer this to two cases,

first is about an expert who spent the last 20 years of his life in turbine and boiler repair and maintenance. he had not have any formal education background, just a typical MCE certificate. with his average paycheck, he worked out late everyday, trying to understand the technical problems so he could come back the next day with answers to the middle managers. he rarely chosen for technical training, or sent to workshop or seminar. he developed his own skills through observation and learnt it all by heart.he spoke less and acted more. and now he has left the company..

second is about a brilliant guy, MIT graduate in mechanical engineering, joined company A for about three years then left, prior to that, he was sent everywhere, across the globe for many kind of training,pay was good, but still he left when he was asked reasons for leaving, the answer was simple; i dont leave for money, i leave to learn more, i am sick of giving instructions, i want to do it all, get my hands dirty ..

though i am not the qualified person to review on this, but something damn important is missing...

tiring Grik Trip

2010-03-04T03:35:00.000-08:00

i left house at 4.30 am yesterday to Gerik to catch a meeting with SSJSP, i have never been there but i managed to get the direction from my boss..

The intention was to skip Tues's Hydrology class and left for Gerik a day early, but my heart said otherwise, I just dont want to spend additional two days to read and cover for what i have missed, i am just not good in digesting books...

So tkpela, after the meeting, we headed up to visit the Temenggor dam, and travelled back to tasik raban about 50km from Gerik (where I stayed) for another site visit for a new proposal...wahhhh, tired of travelling

and now, jst arrived from 8 hours nonstop driving since 9 am, due to visits again to the sites, pics taken to help me building up the proposal,

and guess what, i skipped the 3-hr Water Treatment class for tonite...

Allah, mmg susah bila kerja and blajar at the same time..kepala dh berat sgt2 smpi tk larat nk pk ape2...

family pics

2010-02-20T21:01:00.000-08:00

2010-02-20T20:07:00.000-08:00

a lot has been happening since the last time i updated the blog. i enrolled as part time msc student in upm last dec, as soon as coming back from us. it was very tough in the beginning,juggling between night classes, three times a week, and work load plus pressure to complete the project that i manage on time. at that time, i wasnt sure to complete it, every time the management threw the favourite question of when can u complete this, i'd rather remained silence, not having the guts to say the uncertain, all i remember was to pray hard to Him, to help me always...alhamdulillah, last two weeks, i managed to call for the closing meeting,with good feedback received from the clients..at least, i am now confident to submit the closure form by end of this months...alhamdulillah too, that i managed to finish the first half semester, three tests were gone, not sure with flying colours or not,since i had less than half of time that the other coursemates had for doing enough revision to get the A's, i leave it to Allah to decide, as He knows the best...the classes will begin again this tuesday, until end of april before the final exams start, even when that is over, i would still have aother 3 semesters a.k.a. 1.5 yrs to go, aduiiii....what about phd then? tgkla, if i am still sane and better opportunity comes, that option would be considered, then may to july i would have to get the on-going modelling work completed to the standard, not to mention a few papers that i owe isrs, insya allah ada rezeki dptla present nnt...financial wise not so good sgt la, since i have to pay the tuition fees and higher monthly instalment for the new car, the old kancil could not cope with the mileage that i have do monthly basis, not to mention the increase need for kancil to be at mak's for ayah to use it,hence i have to let it go for them, xpela...i believe in bountilful rewards from good sacrifice, and alhamdulillah, abbas and i have made a better move of buying our own house, which explains the tight financial, but again we believe it happened for a good reason, for a good course set upon by Him...hopefully its return in 10 years to come would be more than sufficient for us to hunt for bigger property, say semi d or pvr land for us to have the long-dreamt swimming pool, aminnnnnn, also, fatiha will be 2 yrs old in three months, but the plan for weaning is still unclear,mostly sbb xsmpi hati,she still finds me everytime she's sleepy...i have to also look for either maid or new pengasuh since we will be moving out end of this yr to the new place, the current taska is too good to be stopped, but distance is killing me, especially the horrific traffic during the peak hours..to get a maid is still 20 % yes from me, statistically 1 out 20 interviewed personally by me proved maid caused more trouble than good...again from Allah we seek help,

2010-01-17T20:28:00.000-08:00

tolong la

serious rasa nk quit *NBR ni now!

but, where could i go?

give me guidance ya Allah

deep discussion

2010-01-17T19:52:00.001-08:00

i am not in the mood to write, i had some lengthy notes to post, but i'd rather keep it to myself.

i am busy, indeed very busy.

anakku dan binatang liar

2009-12-27T07:39:00.000-08:00

Fatiha ni sangat2 suke dgn binatang

Berpuluh buku kitorang beli on binatang

Tak pernah kenal erti letih membaca buku

sampai tertido2 dpan buku

Pantang nampak je kedai buku

Mesti singgah beli

Pastu terus nk baca

Aku pn terngantuk2 temankan baca

Sume bunyi binatang aku dh cuba ajar

Bagus nye, Fatiha pun dh tau dan siap dh buat bunyi tuh

gembira tgk hasil didikan kami berdua

lately

dia sangat addicted dgn video binatang yg dkat Tv and internet

aku download masuk dlm phone

nk tidurkan dia mesti pasang lagu binatang tuh

skang

addicted to this plak.....

p/s: adakah anak aku nk menjadi seorang veterinar? atau pengkaji national geographic?

2009-12-19T13:27:00.000-08:00

Happy nye anak sy!!

"umi, besarnya tempat ni, nanti kita buat rumah cam ni boleh?"

"umi, boleh tak beli kolam cam ni untuk Fatiha?"

Umi : 'muka kita tak same and tak serupa kan?'

fATIHA: "emmmmm, sama laa,bila umi berhingus cm Fatiha jugak"

*rindu mode

blizzard hit

2009-12-19T12:48:00.000-08:00

i thought it is just a normal snow, like one in the old days when i was in manchester

to many, it is one of the worst that hits Washington and Virginia

to date, snow has reached up to 19inches, crippling traffic everywhere

above ground metro has now been suspended whilst th underground is limited to very close vicinity of DC, most activities ar being held, some flights are being cancelled!

Ya ALlah, please let us fly back home tomorrow, let this blizzard over

Blizzard hits east!

atuk

2009-12-18T03:03:00.000-08:00

just received text from Alang said: Atuk dh meninggal...

i picked up the phone trying to call mak but she couldnt speak to me, i heard her sobbing...suddenly i started to feel the lost,

i was not so much attached to Atuk, but we were raised up by both nenek and him a long time ago whilst mak went to work. i spent my early childhood with them. back then he was still good, he brought me to have roti canai every Wednesday where a small pekan sehari was held. he picked me up from the pre-school everyday, without fail.

time passed by, he gave me some money despite his kedekutness to start my first few days in Jasin as he was so proud of me being the first in his family to go to boarding school.

but he changed a lot whilst we moved to somewhere closer to his place. Mak is not his favourite I must say, for reason that we never know. for everything that happened, Mak would be the person to carry all the blame. being the first daughter in the family was never easy for Mak, kesian kt mak, she was always being blamed for things that she didnt even do, so we made up our minds to move to a new place.

alhamdulillah, ever since we moved to this place, the relationship between Mak and him turned out much better. but his health condition deteriorated faster than we thought...

two things I learnt:

love to parents is unconditional - Mak never gave up to impress him, she took up the responsibility of looking after him when he was sick despite all the tension in between them. Love for him has never changed!
bila dekat bau tahi, bila jauh bau bunga - bila kita jauh dengan keluarga, sentiasa rasa rindu dan sayang (of course this doesnt apply to me and Abbas or even our siblings, i love the fact we stay quite close to both our parents, i share everything with Mak and Ayah!!!)

now, he's gone. Semoga Allah mudahkan segala urusan nya, ditempatkan dia di kalangan orang beriman

Amin

missing them mode from VA

2009-12-15T03:43:00.000-08:00

dear blog,

since i boarded the plane last sunday, i have started to miss them, especially her. I have never had a single night without her next to me.

our normal stay at any hotels would end the day up in huge mess, with plastics and tissues all over the place, but this room has been kept very nice and tidy as she is not around.

i miss everything about her, her smile, her laugh, i called home to speak to her but she refused, she might be confused and i accepted that.

thanks a lot to Mama, FiqAH and of course my dear husband for taking care of her. I really hope she will do fine tomorrow night, as abang would be on call.

My pray goes to all of them, especially her.

(mode: air mata dh start menitis setiap kali msg/telefon/teringat kt Fatiha)

finally.........

2009-12-10T04:53:00.001-08:00

after a year and a half waiting for internet connection, finally our wish is granted. syukur alhamdulillah, at least i can do some office work at home, and more importantly for the purpose of my study, which will start as soon as i come back from US.

anyway, i am leaving tomorrow, and will be back in two weeks. please doakan that Fatiha will behave very well and does not cause much of headache to Abbas.

some pics i owe to this blog.......

she is big, like anak dara to me noW!

notes from JB

2009-12-04T05:25:00.000-08:00

i have to pay additional Rm25 per day to get connected, so might as well update the blog from here in mutiara. it was good and welcoming, better than most of the hotels i have checked in to, but i must say it is quite too much for working level like me. anyway, this is what we call rezeki Allah

visits to NTU was worth it! i love university atmosphere, the calmness, serenity tranquilled with luxury of green everywhere inclusive the roof top which we initially thought was for rainwater harvesting was just beyond admiration! the building architecture was fantastic! singaporeans appreciate the importance of green more than us, i had to admit! talks with Dr Shuy, one of the collaborator working with us on the physical model instantly reminded me of how the former LKY pursued on having trees everywhere that is possible, simply for landscaping and recovering for the CO2 emission from rapid urbanisation of his country. It amazed me that LKY brought along the park authority reps to travel with him across the globe to discover the new plant species to be planted on every possible corner of SIngapore. i guess UTP could be as comparable to them in terms of the aesthetic!

(sorry guys, no intention to offense us Malaysian, just sharing my decent view for improvement)

work-wise, we just finalised on the test conditions and scopes, which they will start in 2 weeks time. the model is still under construction, which we visited in this afternoon during the drizzle. it was huge open-space lab, 1:25 scale, which i have to share it with other universities especially UNITEN later.

we are coming back in mid-jan 2010, to witness the testing and propose for some modification if necessary arises. i am happy they co operated well and agreed to do what we wanted!

looks like i have to start applying passport for Fatiha and ALang, in case we have to travel to/fro Singapore very soon.

***just receive text that Abbas caught a flu and have been staying with his parents in Kajang, all i can do is to pray for his well-being. get well soon abg, amin...we'll see u in KL tomorrow!

pre-Trauma!

2009-11-15T23:10:00.000-08:00

alhamdulillah, approval from CEO has been granted. the four of us will be leaving for Maryland in a few weeks to come. I hate to say how much I am going to survive leaving Fatiha behind for almost 2 weeks but the air ticket is sooo damn expensive and definitely we couldnt afford. I know hers would be charged at 20% or so, but where to find RM 8k for Abbas's flight??
Plus, its just Maryland in the killing winter! Abbas and Fatiha wont be prepared for that!

Mak and Alang would babysit Fatiha during that period, but she has never slept without me, i mean without BF-ing from me! Risaunya hati nih tak tau la nk ckp camne, Abbas pulak dah start trauma sampai almost everyday we speak about this.

Ever since she was born, i have never left her. She followed me to Terengganu, Kelantan, cameron Highlands for hundreds of time, JB even to Kedai Runcit Cempaka beli panadol sepapan. Masak pn sama2 kat dapur, i put her on the table top while i am cutting/chopping shallots or kupas bawang. At night, she wakes up at least twice for feeding, she takes FM but only BM will put her to sleep. she can be put sleep without me provided she is extremely tired as if playing one whole day. occasionally we can do that, but for 12 days straight?????i dont think so!

Abbas redha aku pergi since it is not easy to get the chance...aku pn mmg nk pergi since the beginning of the project....

Ya Allah, bantulah suamiku dan anakku. Permudahkanlah urusan mereka sepeninggalan aku nanti.

from B-suite with love

2009-11-03T05:38:00.000-08:00

alhamdulillah, finally we managed to arrive safely at Penang. Thank you to my dear GPS, specially bought lovely husband few months back. I still remember how reluctant I was when Abbas told me he wanted to buy it. I totally disagreed since I couldnt find any use to it. I believed I knew almot every roads in KL and Bangsar due to various meetings held in those places. But he proved me wrong....again!

we checked in at 11 today, after almost an hour trying to find where was the right entrance. Alang saw the building from far but we could not locate, it was not on GPS so we had to stop by a small stall asking Pakcik Nasi Lemak. Thanks alot pakcik for the direction. I have to really update the map soon....!

conference-wise, quite impressive i must say! the organisers adressed me with Dr...Gile ke hapa! mana ade Dr maaaa, nih hampeh punye peserta je. just to share with all of u, the worst tsunami which took almost 250,000 lives in 2004 was an exact repetition of 1880s events. of course earhquake was the trigger factor, but submarine landslide could induce tsunami of much severe and devastating impacts, perhaps in the order of 3 times as much.

cant wait for tomorrow!!!!

p/s: kasihan suamiku terpaksa melayan Susuk-Pocong keseorangan. best la kampung abang ni, nasi kandar yummie!!

bila tak tau nk menulis

2009-11-01T17:42:00.000-08:00

notes to myself:

to leave at 6 or latest by 7 for penang tomorrow
make sure Fatiha's medicine are all packed

yes! despite Fatiha and I being unwell due to flu and heavy cough, we still have to make long distance trip to USM. I signed up for the Tsunami Workshop long time ago, and I have been looking forward for it ever since. The fee was waived due to very early registration, and the upcoming project really need input which would partly come from this trip. I hope it would be very fruitful!! Amin.......

Fatiha is now 18 months or 1.5 years. Her next jab is due next week so i have to make an appointment for this. Apparently the Paed is now on leave, and can onvly be visited at night. I dont want to jeopardise our little family time for this visit, so i might have to reschedule it whenever she is back.

and salam takziah to adik Aaliyah Aiman who was cruelly murdered and sexually abused by heartless BF of her stupid mother. I heard this last couple of days on IKIM whilst driving Fatiha to her Taska. I couldnt imagine how tortured she was the pain she had to overcome. Allah akan membalas setiap satu perbuatan di dunia dan tambahan seksaan yang berat di akhirat.

and on one occasion, we were having dinner at Pelita @Jln Ampang when we saw a few budak2 lepak sambil minum teh tarik. agak terkejut bila tgk ramainya budak2 perempuan merokok cam tu je. dorang nih tak takut ke anak cacat bila mengandung nanti???

ntahhhla, kena byk usaha, usaha, usaha dan doa minta perlindungan Allah!

sibuknya kehidupan

2009-10-15T19:09:00.000-07:00

I have been very busy for the past few weeks, the last post to this blog was sometime before Hari Raya. I guess it is extremely late for me to wish Selamat Hari Raya to all. You are more than welcome to our newly-moved-in kuarters at Presint 14. langsir baru nak ambil hari ni, so insya allah dah almost ready la to welcome all.

Map to our place is here:

http://maps.google.com.my/maps/mpl?ie=UTF8&moduleurl=http://maps.google.com.my/help/maps/local_search/mapplet.html&mapclient=google&f=q&hl=en&utm_campaign=ms&utm_medium=ha&utm_source=ms-ha-apac-my-sk-gm&utm_term=map

Kawan2, you can drop by our house anytime, even though Hari Raya would be over very soon.

On another note, we didn’t have any good hari raya pictures since I lost the camera. Alhamdulillah, I managed to find it so there will be few post-Hari Raya pics coming up, hasil kutipan dari pada kawan2, adik beradik yang berbaik hati mengambil gambar kami.

My application to UPM has been granted, insya allah classes will begin in Dec 09. I have talked to Abbas bout this, he was quite surprise that I would hook myself up with another serious engagement – STUDY!!!

He knows me very well; I couldn’t cope with two things running parallel. He proposed I take a year unpaid leave, but our financial capacity is a little bit off-the road. So I don’t want to burden him any further since most of the loan is my personal loan. No sponsorship is secured at the moment; MARA stopped their loan facilities a year ago. MOHE do have some, but only to those graduate who are currently unemployed. TN***** - strictly no-no even for an application since I am not E1* yet. I don’t understand this stupid scheme, which only allow employee of more than 6 years in service to apply for scholarship. So, I need money to pay tuition fees and all the mortgage. No option except part time study.

I have to start plan things ahead….

Oh Allah Almighty, please help me!

umi vs Bapak

2009-09-07T18:39:00.000-07:00

Fatiha is almost 16months now, but i hardly heard her called me "UMI", it has been BAPAK all this while, from the very first moment she said her first word, Bapak has been the word, she said it loud and clear, very frequent up to almost 100 times a day.

i was ok in the beginning, but towards later, i felt a lil bit sad, why she never wanted to call me UMI whilst she can pronounced bi..bi..bi... asking for milk. sometimes she said meme (as if what gedik actress MEmey suhaiza tuh), but never a full word UMI.

Am i upset? Yes, sometimes! up to a point she called me bapak whenever Abbas was not around, ' Umi la, bukan Bapak. Bapak keje', she just smiled back and kept on saying that word.

Abbas calm me down, 'takpela, nanti dia sebut la tuh, janganla terasa sangat, kanak2 tak faham pn ape dia ckp'

and yesterday, she pronounced it loud and clear, Mak...Mak...bi..bi...

hmmm, should i call myself from Umi to Mak? Seriously I dont want it, but let time decides (of course with hard pray from me to have the title Umi)

P/S: Fatiha, u will smile and drop some tears when u read this later, only Allah knows how much I love u!

M.i.S.s.I.n.G

2009-09-02T21:58:00.000-07:00

ujian Ramadhan

2009-09-01T18:26:00.000-07:00

banyak sebenarnya nak tulis sepanjang 12 hari Ramadhan ni. sedih suka duka macam2 yang jadi, tapi sebagai manusia kita kena redha dan tawakkal sebanyak-banyaknya.

1. Puasa bermusafir - 3 hari aku kena assigned to Cameron Highlands, harapannya nak tambah lagi sikit data to improve my analyses, but after 3 days meranduk air sungai yang kotor dan busuk, results yang dapat lead to no avail. Guess I have to sit down and check every parameters and seek help from experts...but time is running out. Bila nak berbuka tuh, beli la macam2 kat pasar dan nk simpan utk sahur, tapi tak kesampaian. Basi la plak...memang sabar la jadi kawan.

2. W.a.t.c.h - not even a year after Abbas bought the nice CK-gold-bangle-watch, i accidentally had it fell on the floor and smashed its shiny crytal face, aduh...sedihnya la bila tgk remuk pecah berkecai jam kesayangan aku. Its not bout the watch, its the value it carries! it was meant for anniversary last year, and we rushed to KL the weekend after to send it for replacement. it would be soo damn expensive but I would pay for it, be it i have to dig the money out of nowhere.

3. sony ericsson g705 - we went for a buka puasa family gathering in Shah Alam, stayed there for about 2 hours or so until we are done with terawih, then I realised the phone was missing. we checked and called all numbers that could have seen it, but it was nowhere to be found. again, it was a birthday gift from dear husband, it didnt even last for a year, merely entering into its forth month!!!!! i lost all contacts, all pics, videos of Fatiha start berjalan, start bercakap and almost everything.

4. time - Abbas has now completed his houseman, hence he is on new MO's tagging at Ortho Dept. starting from today, he will be on daily calls up for the next two weeks, including weekends. the saddest part is, he will finish the shift at 10pm everyday, or no more buka puasa together for us until it is very close to Raya.......... aduhai. kasihan suami ku, i would then miss preparing buka puasa meal (which i love to bits), perhaps just make simple fried rice or beehoon or anything simpler for him when he comes home, and of course much simpler food for sahur. no more solat maghrib jemaah, no more tarawih jemaah since I would do mine earlier to preapre Fatiha to sleep.

semoga ujian-ujian ini membantu kami menghargai kehidupan dan mensyukuri nikmat-Mu , ya Allah.

a lil' reminder

2009-08-16T18:42:00.001-07:00

as what heard through IKIM's bulletin this morning, H1N1 death toll has gone up to 62, with the latest death of 5-yr old down-syndrome child, seriously i am very worried about this. but neither Fatiha nor I use any mask to protect us from this for some reason that I do not know for certain. for Fatiha, the reason is simple: she doesnt like anything on her face, be it a hat, sepit rambut, pakai bedak pn susah, what more a face mask. for me??? malas IS the ultimate reason and of course LUPA nk bawak all the time. so, the most i can do is just to limit our movement by staying at home. it is a bit boring especially for super-active Fatiha whom likes to walk non stop especially in the park or strolling down every aisle of Carefour, but i dont have any option, do I?

according to WHO (as reported from the bulletin), an average of 20% is in the likelihood to be affected by the virus IF we, the Malaysian citizens do not take any steps to contain the spread. i believe the easiest and the best way is by maintaining high level of hygiene at every steps and corner of our daily activities. also, we have to be extra responsible to visit the nearest clinic or hospital should any symptoms persist such as high fever, cough and flu. please do not stay at home and let the virus eat you slowly, and of course get proper treatment from clinics or hospitals instead of pawang, nujum etc.

but above all, seek help from Him,

'setiap penyakit itu diturunkan dengan penawarnya'

to all, let just pray especially during this Holy Month of Ramadhan that this pandemic would go very soon....

selamat bersemadi

2009-08-13T23:59:00.000-07:00

semalam Abbas beritahu pasal kematian Ustaz Asri Ibrahim, rabbani. sy cam tak percaya until pagi nih dengar kt IKIM zall from Azadan, salah seorang ahli Rabbani menceritakan detik2 pemergian Asri. Masya Allah, kagum dgn ceritanya. Lepas tuh, bila baca blog Assie dapat lebih detail cerita tentang dia.

alhamdulillah, sy rasa gembira sbb dibesarkan dgn lagu2 arwah dari zaman nadamurni sehinggalah rabbani sekarang. masa zaman student dulu, selalu jadikan lagu2 camni sebagai teman, especially dekat2 nak periksa. masa tuh mudah rasanya ilmu masuk dalam kepala, hati rasa lapang je baca buku. solat pun mudah je rs nk tunaikan, takdela terkejar2 cam sekarang ni. senang juga nk pergi dengar majlis ilmu, internet pn laju nk streaming or download.

sekarang nih masa selalu takde, sibuk dengan kerja di ofis, kerja di rumah, melayan anak dan suami, menziarahi ibu bapa setiap minggu, sampaikan bila balik rumah je badan rasa letihnya sangat, tak mampu nk buat ape2. apatah lagi nak bukak buku (kalau belajar la...), haisyh memang sgt susah. macam manalah mak semua buat semua ni, tanpa pernah mengabaikan tuntutan agama untuk diri sendiri dan anak2...

persoalannya, adakah kita terlampau sibuk atau kita disibukkan sbb kita tak pernah berusaha mengubah jadual yang ada sekarang? bila tengok suami sy, sy rasa kagum dia masih ada masa untuk anaknya, main2 dan swimming. pelik juga, tak penat ke suami sy ni? kdg2 tgk sampai terlentok2 melayan Fatiha, tapi dia teruskan juga. bila sy suruh berehat especially bila balik oncall, jawapannya selalu camni '' takpela, tidur bila2 pn boleh. masa dengan keluarga nih tak boleh diganti semula. bila ada peluang, kene gunakan sebaik-baiknya."

teringat balik kepada arwah, orang2 yang cam arwah ni, bilakah masanya mereka berehat?
hmm, baru sy sedar, kematian adalah saat kerehatan mereka dari kesibukan dunia..........

p/s; jadikanlah ramadhan kali ini yang terbaik buat kami sekeluarga, amin...

bring it on

2009-07-23T20:31:00.000-07:00

fuh, i got pile of workload right on the table but i just couldnt resist desire to post something on my blog. I have been away for too long due to work, of course work will never end!

i was on 2.5 days EL, had to look after 2 babies - Fatiha and Abbas whom had sore eyes, Fatiha got it from frens in Taska and transferred it to Bapak as they are very closely in contact. It was good runaway-from-work sort of thing, and we managed to spend it wisely through 2 sessions of basketball on an empty court, i lose to Abbas for the millionth time tapi kalau menang nanti nampak tak elok pulak kan, hisy hish...

then, we drove all the way from Putrajaya smpi ke Damansara via LDP kononnya nak cari good location for house hunting tapi belum dapat pencerahan agung lagi so we ended up somewhere near Pulau Meranti sesat barat tak tau nk keluar to Putrajaya cmne, thanks to GPS who helped us finding our way back hehe (Thanks abbas for nice kampung style lunch at Restoran Tuan Faridah, hehe)

***************

bila dapat membebel

2009-07-13T21:53:00.000-07:00

Fatiha was not felling well, she caught a flu with heavily runny nose, so I thought of spending the night taking care of her instead of going back to Mak's place, but Mak's nifedipine has running out. Tak sampai hati pulak rasanya, so I changed the plan and drove straight to Mak's at 6.30 right after picking Fatiha up. We didnt stay for long, just for mere an hour for Marghrib and set off back to Putrajaya. Seriously i was so damn tired and sleep-deprived from the night before due to Fatiha being unwell, tapi alhamdulillah the journey went on smoothly. Fatiha pn tak merengek abd tidur nyenyak the whole night, except a few rengekan Bapak, bapak longing for warm hugs of Abbas whom was on call. Barakah Allah agaknya.

On another note, alhamdulillah all the process related to newly-bought house is over. I am off this afternoon to the legal offices for documentation to get the water and electricity supply connected to the place. I know Mak and AYah love it very much, since they have been wanting to own a house since the birth of our eldest. Imagine they could only have what they call ' A Dream Come True' at their age of 51 whilst most of their friends have had 3rd or 4th house already. I am so glad and grateful to Allah that their wish is now granted, their endless doa dimakbulkan. I am far from buying our own house, since we are still working out on the saving but Abbas was so understanding that he allowed me to become the financier for Mak's house. 'Kita kena yakin, rezeki Allah sentiasa ada selagi mana kita berbuat baik kepada ibu bapa'- he quoted that long time ago.

Fatiha,
Taatilah Allah dan Rasul, Hormatilah kami ibu bapamu, jagalah akhlak dan peribadi, Umi dan Bapak sentiasa mendoakan keselamatan dan kejayaan kamu dunia akhirat

Kepada suami tercinta,
Thank you for being very understanding,insya allah we will find our own very soon. Might not be big, but enough to add values to our life. Amin..

And now, I just have to work harder and cant afford unemployment.

accident

2009-07-02T19:51:00.000-07:00

boleh senyum lagi tuh, adoii!

i arrived late at her nursery yesterday, had that guilt on top of my head, i tried to make little surprise to peep through the grill instead of calling her name, her teacher came out saying 'minta maaf kak, tadi ada budak ketuk kepala Fatiha dgn lego, sy tk smpat nk capai2, minta maaf sgt, and it went on and on...

I was shocked! biar benar, i quickly hold her and flipper her long hair that covers most of the forehead and there was it! masya Allah nasib baik tak kena mata, kalau tak mmg aku cari budak tuh sampai lubang cacing..

Being speechless and thanking the baby sitter for the information, i went away and hold her the tightest possible in the car, i couldnt imagine how hard she cried but i must say she was very tough, not a single drop of tear was seen when i picked her up, she must have thought of not to put too much worry on me.

i drove and called abbas so we could meet him in hospital, i had the thought of keeping that to myself and to inform him tomorrow after work, but knowing Abbas and how he cares about Fatiha, i changed my mind instantly.

cut the story short, abbas accepted that with open heart but he did remind to talk to the baby sitter not to let this happen again. we had dinner together at the hospital cafe, before heading home for to have good rest, sadly without Abbas.

a little note

2009-06-24T19:42:00.000-07:00

just came back from work trip to Cameron Highlands. Alang followed me along to baby sit Fatiha while I was out to work. It was three exhausting days, but weather was wonderful despite the all-day rain on the last night. I hate the windy Tapah road but Simpang Pulai was further ahead, so I dont want to waste time+fuel just to drive along wider road. Imagine I had to drive up 40km one-handed, as another arm was holding her head to be nursed. I know I should have stopped by the road side, but there wasnt any emergency lane to allow me for that. I just drove and prayed to arrive safely at Brinchang where she can sleep properly. It is getting more and more difficult to drive with Fatiha, she gets bored easily sitting in the car set and to make it harder, she wants me to nurse her to sleep instead of tepuk2 dia sampai tidur.

on another note, Happy Belated Fathers Day to:

Suami ku yang tercinta - thanks for being the great godfather to Fatiha, i must tell he was and still the first to wake time every night to change Fatiha's wet nappy, bancuh susu when i am deprived of br**milk, and memujuk Fatiha yang mengigau atau mimpi ngeri, she kept on calling bapak..bapak whilst in Cameron.
Ayah - mendidik, menjaga dan bersusah payah membesarkan anak yang degil ni, suka melawan cakap ibu bapa (tapi skarang dah tak lagi, insya allah). I cannot repay your hard work, only doa dan sedikit bantuan selagi terdaya
Bapak - a wonderful dad and of course lifetime advisor to Abbas when dealing with anything, be it financial, children education, persoalan akidah, sports, just name it...
Ayong - marriage and Iman did work wonders on you, Kak Ina and Iman have changed you into a much better person, but 'crazier', hehe!

congrats guys!

2009-06-17T18:34:00.000-07:00

last night Fali and Tania came and joined us for dinner, alhamdulillah we were blessed by sate, mee rebus (cooked by me!) and tandoori specially brought from Pandan. I told Abbas there must some good news they wanted to share, and my guess would be none other than Tania is pregnant!

guess what, this supermom was damn right! they finally shared it and started to get some good advice from dear husband, wahhhh! I felt like starting up a business on free out-of-office consultation to those preggie mothers, payment can be directly made to me but Abbas will give the consultation. heheh!

I am at the peak now, really wanting to be pregnant again, reason?? i was all alone during 1st pregnancy, so envious of those who get extra attention from husband during the pregnancy........

relocating

2009-06-15T18:00:00.000-07:00

She now moves faster, and sometimes very fast that I end up being breathless to catch up with her. Last night was just the beginnning I suppose, she opened up the kitchen wardrobe where I stored all dry food including ketchup, spices, cooking oil, cans of pineapple and sardines and many more. We were just done with dinner when she took the famous Kicap Manis Adabi and smaked it to the floor, yeahhhhh! All of sudden the floor turned to black marble finish it a split second. Abbas picked her up and put her away, takut2 kaca masuk kaki and this lovely mother spent the next 10 minutes cleaned up the mess and put back the kitchen floor to original.

Forgot to mention, one of glass door of the TV cabinet was broken and waiting for right time to fall down, I dont know how on earth she could pull it out!

I am now considering to relocate all the stuff, perhaps to put it much higher and beyond her reach

It was just a beginning.............

2009-06-09T00:48:00.000-07:00

tiba2 sy rasa dijangkiti sindrom nak anak kedua..........

tapi,

saya nk buat part time belajar,

camana ek?

too much to write

2009-06-08T23:51:00.000-07:00

i just came back from Kelantan last friday, there goes the whole week of mine. luckily abbas was on leave that saturday, so we had some good time for the three of us. i never thought that the sun was too hot until he actually told me how tanned i was! malunya bila kena tegur dengan suami macam tuh. i have never applied any sunblock, just for a simple reason that i never like it, but not more the next time. being a wife doesnt mean i have to leave all the skin and facial care behind, in fact i have to start and learn on how to use them all, just for the lovely husband. erm, i guess he doesnt want me to look older than him, well I dont want that too!!!

*susahnye jadi perempuan kan?

as usual, i completely forgot to wish Abbas on our anniversary day. I was too tired after 6 hours sun-bathing on top of one of hills near Kuala Krai that I didnt remember to send him any text or a phone call. how lousy I was guys! i read his text the next day and i felt i was the luckiest woman in this world. how thoughtful he is! yet i still owe him an anniversary gift whilst i have got three or four from him already! i thought of buying him a new clancy hawk PS3 and a pair of shoes but i have to get those somewhere near mid valley. that is the only game shop that I know of. oh well, i will try on this Saturday if possible.

yesterday, we had another movie date on Terminator Salvation. it was a good masterpiece i must say but there were so many explosions, blast, fires and machines that i kinda lost my attention at some points. I dont believe machines are greater than human in the first place, perhaps that is the reason that I gave them only 3.5 star. It was merely an entertainment for us, a good escape for both of us.

i am dying to travel out of this country but Abbas is losing his interest to the outside world. he is totally in love with Malaysia or should I say semenanjung malaysia hence he is not keen of going anywhere, be it sabah or sarawak for that matter. i am hoping my work trip to singapore would be accompanied by him,but his workload always refuse my proposal.

i miss our long gone backpackers trip! kang aku plan euro trip confirm abbas pengsan terus!

2009-05-28T20:23:00.001-07:00

alhamdulillah, Abbas and I finally managed to organise a small birthday party for Fatiha. Thanks to all who came all the way to spend the precious sunday evening with us in our small hut. I am glad the food was good and everyone was entertained. I really should do this more often in future, good for me to catch up with friends and better for Fatiha so she could have more playdates.
on monday, we took a day off to settle a few things with banks etc. At 11, we drove off to our favourite after-marriage-dating spot a.k.a Mid Valley and played basketball! And I lost to Abbas again (for the millionth time). He scored 250 in round 4 whilst I managed to get half of his! He won 4-times in a row and I must say Abbas's coordination in sport is a lot better. I hope Fatiha will be more like him than me. Seriously we are now very much into basketball and plan to make it a must-do-thing-over weekend. Perhaps that is the only time we can burn some fat happily, unlike running on the treadmill which we found sometimes stressful and boring! So, this weekend we'll have a fair fight ye Abg!
The consultant team confirmed on their visit to Cameron highlands, so off I went to show them the site and locations for survey and some site measurement. I wasnt all prepared, hence I made terrible mistakes showing a Danish-guy (whom will be the modeller) a wrong location of river. What a shame to me! In the end I just admit to him that I am still new in this type of project, and I am not all aware of the dams operation and scheme in total. I really have to read a lot after this. Back to the story, I managed to reach home at 8.15pm following 3hours of driving. Thanks a lot Abg, for calming her down and putting her to sleep. Kesian kt Fatiha, sbb Umi lambat sgt smpi tertido sendiri.

Next week will be our anniversary, and I will be in Kelantan for the whole week. Poor Hubby!

rantings

2009-05-18T23:11:00.000-07:00

The SPC result was out last week, unfortunately I didnt get it. I must say it was competitive since most of the applicants were of solid academician or true researcher. Perhaps the proposal was not strong enough to obtain fair justification from the panels. Perhaps I was too young to ask for such opportunity as what one the panels said 'dont you think 27th is too early to do ?', seriously I dont give a damn about this. Perhaps I walked in without any conditional offer letter from the respective university. Perhaps they thought of I should get some financial support from the current organisation that I am in; considering I would be doing this for the company's own good, hence they should not offer it to me. Perhaps they dont even have enough money, or perhaps it is just not my time yet or even I am always unlucky with M**A interviews.

Few years back, I attended the similar interview, held in the former school of mine. Everyone was saying I was more than eligible to get it looking at the SPM trial results. I was nervous as usual. It was a tough session, and I believed the failure was due to English. They need an A which I could not provide on the slip. I still remember one of them said ' Macam mane u nak pegi UK dgn results english camni? U ingat kat UK cakap melayu ke?. How mean was that! But I accepted it with open heart. (but truly Malay was widely spoken in UK la)

I am 60% happy, at least I dont have to move to a new place. Abbas doesnt like moving around, and he was not totally agree with me sending in the application in the first place, but he supported me throughout though.

So what to do now? MSc by research or by classes?

Lets just do some analyses:

Research - proposal is ready, supervisor is next door, methodology is acceptable, software is in hand, model set up is completed, no classes, no exams BUT 0.2% motivation hence mungkin tak dapat complete in time
Classes - must attend classes, expensive (RM 250 per credit hour), no weekend or late to home, Fatiha sape nak jaga, penat, kena stay up malam baca buku and assignment BUT insya allah boleh habis within the specified time.

After all, I hate making decision. Oh Allah, please help me!

2009-05-10T22:21:00.000-07:00

I had never failed to pray and ask for His help so Abbas could make it just on time. I could not go through this labour without him, 9 months alone were unbearable, yet we went through it safely. Alhamdulillah, there were no complications throughout the pregnancy, I still managed to make a few trips to see Abbas and off course, travelling back and forth to Pasir Gudang for work.

********************

Soon after dinner, spotting began, I insisted that we go to Az Zahra but Fatiha was still unprepared to see the world. I was sent back home in the afternoon to continue walking so she would position herself right for labour. Later that night, water trickled down my sarong hence Abbas sent me straight to Az Zahra again. Fatiha was not in the right position, not even engaged and locked to make her out. After fighting through the continuous contraction despite the 1cm dilation after 7 hours, she finally made her way out, ohh yes! Through the ceasearean section! I was so grateful for two things: Abbas made it on time for her, and she was safe!

**********************

Confinement without dearest husband was a total pain for me. Fatiha was absolutely shocked by the new world, her clock was not set right hence she started the beautiful music everyday from midnight till dawn. Luckily Mak was there to lend her hands and support me to go though this. After 3 weeks, I felt more confident to raise her up and ready to face the reality. She kept improving within that span of 2 months, adapting herself to our world.

*********************

In July, we began our journey as parents. It was tough since Abbas had started his O&G routine with EOD in the fasting month. Fatiha was still struggling, but much better than the first 2 months. She could sleep at night, but with minor disturbance. Abbas had never failed as a husband and father, he was the first to wake up every time she woke up, for any reason for that matter. Occasionally she cried for hours at night for no reason, but Abbas was always there to help me or at least to support me by staying up there despite the hectic-super-busy schedule of his. At times, I felt totally sorry that he had to come back for good just for us. On my side, I started to bring her along, with the help of Alang if I was assigned out of town.

********************

Reaching 6 months, she started on her solids. I made fine blend porridge for her, occasionally fed her with nestum if i didnt have the time. She was quite playful, with less sleep and more play. But she caught fever easily, probably due to viral infection transfered from her friends in the day care. When she was hit, it took a few days to recover. Again, we took turn to stay for her whenever she felt ill. Abbas never complained, patience was always his companion. I cracked easily sometimes, but the support made me go through.

********************

She started crawling at eight months. I thought it was quite late since most of her friends were faster than her. Again, there came her father to wipe off my worry. 'Let her have her own time, dont push too hard' he always say this. Her behaviour improved drastically, one or twice wake up call at nite just for feeding. During the day, she filled it with playing and crawling everywhere. At times, she stood up and hold on to anything possible to move from one point to another.

At eleven months, she started her first few steps. We thought that she would completely fit to walk on her own when she reached 12 months, but she proved us wrong. Exactly three days after the debut, she managed to walk 10 steps more steadily. And she is now walking freely everywhere unless we stop her.

*******************

Kepada suami yang tersayang, thank you so much for your love, support, care and help throughout this first year of raising her. I would end up nowhere without you. Thanks again and hope we could be the best parents.

I love you.

*******************

To dearest Fatiha, Selamat Hari Lahir yang pertama. Semoga Allah limpahkan kamu dengan segala kebaikan di dunia dan kesenangan di akhirat. Thank you very much for making us better people, and better parents. Umi and Bapak cannot tell how much you mean to us, how wonderful to have you with us. Insya allah, we will try and impove every now and then to make this world a better place for you, amin....

Umi&Bapak sayang kamu sangat!

sayang anakku

2009-05-06T23:43:00.000-07:00

Fatiha dah nak setahun ni, tapi Umi n Bapak tk plan apa2 pn lagi to celebrate the BIG day. To make things worse, Umi kene pegi Kota Bharu plak. I hope Bapak and you can pick me up so we will celebrate it, where and how we will figure that out later....

akhirnya

2009-05-06T19:20:00.000-07:00

setelah almost tiga tahun menunggu, barulah hari ni dapat official T** jacket, gile punye la lame. orang lain masuk2 terus dapat.

'sabar sebahagian daripada iman'

there goes april

2009-05-03T21:26:00.000-07:00

A Famosa Trip

i took one week leave from 27th April till 1st may to give me luxurious 9 days off from work just to spend time with Abbas and Fatiha. Its been ages since our last vacation to Belfast, so we took the 3D2N package to A Famosa Resort. I must admit the hotel was superb as they gave us 2-king size beds with spacious bathroom which I supposed was meant for executive but we managed to get it since it was no school holiday! The first day upon arrival, we visited the animal safari and I was totally shocked for being greeted by 2-tiger cubs which I thought were merely giant tiger soft toys!!! Menjerit cam nk gila aku and Abbas tergelak terbahak tgk isteri dia histeria sekejap bila tgk harimau tuh menguap nampak gigi taring! Serious ingatkan tipu, nasib baik tak pengsan je. Of course we had fun in the end but sorry to Fatiha whom was not so well so she ended up sleeping on abbas's shoulder due to mild fever and sore throat.

The next day was much better despite the fact Fatiha stayed awake almost the entire night due to high fever. Luckily doctor was in the house, so her temperature went down after taking a few medicine. At 11am, we went to the water park. Guess what, we almost had the entire water park to ourselves as there were less than 10 people enjoying the giant waved-pool and the slides. It was total fun to us, Abbas and I took turn to try them all and sometimes took the challenge to bring Fatiha along. Fatiha was a bit better so she had the whole kiddies pool to herself (of course under adult supervision yang poyo berlebih2 sbb dapat main semua slides kanak2 tanpa halangan).

Later that nite, Abbas treated us dinner at the Cowboy town. Food was not that lovely but I loved the set up, like one in the cowboy movies. We didnt even go the parade as it was too noisy with the loud music.

Fatiha's high fever

Her fever had gotten worse soon after we came back from Melaka. Syukur for having Abbas at home, as he could watched Fatiha closely and checked her from time to time. Schedule for her medicine was followed religously and alhamdulillah she recovered the next morning.

Movie date 'Jangan Tegur'

saya serius tak faham kenapa tajuk filem ni Jangan Tegur, cam tak da kene mengena langsung dengan cerita dia. Mula2 tuh sara tanak tengok sbb sy nih memang penakut, tapi sebab dh janji dengan Abbas so pegi jugakla. Fatiha pn dah sehat so kitorang hantar pegi taska pagi tuh. masuk2 je saya dh rasa nk pitam sb bunyi-bunyian filem tuh memang mengerikan. Almost 70% cerita tuh saya tak tengok, hanya dengar sound je sampai rasa menyampah pn ada sbb kuat dan nyaring sangat, sakit telinga juga la. Bila dah abis rasa cm 'ala, itu je ke??' Abbas bagi rating 1.5 out of 5 sbb dia kate tak best langsung!

Takpela, nanti kita arrange next movie date Transformer la ye!

Labour Day - Fishing day

Abbas was out as soon as 6am in that morning for his fishing trip with Fali and Tania. I wanted to join but Fatiha was not in the good mood so I decided to stay at Mak's place. Ayong and his family was also there so we had some adik-beradik reunion that day. Cooking rendang was really the main agenda on top of busy chit chatting to update each and everyone of us. By 4pm, Abbas came to pick us up and gave Mak some of his catch for the day. He managed to get Kerapu, Jenahak, crabs and a few more Gelama which some was given to Mak for the dinner. The rest he brought it to Kajang for his mother. So that nite, we had wonderful freshly-caught 'ketam rebus, sweet sour kerapu along with Penang fish curry'. Best btol dapat husband pandai pancing ikan ni, tak sia-sia la, hehehe!

Barca 6 - Madrid 2

Saturday was our day off from going anywhere. Abbas and I were just lazying around, playing with Fatiha and enjoying my first-weekend homemade lunch!All was due to Spanish League match between Real Madrid and Barcelona that night. I didnt stay up to watch the game of course, but I got myself busy with ironing all our working clothes. Apit (my younger brother) came to add up the heat. Abbas and him had total fun playing PES 2009 until 4am the next day.

did i forget to tell? I got brand new handphone, of course bought by my lovely husband!! seriously i love him to bits!

change

2009-04-20T20:53:00.000-07:00

time flew so fast over the last weekend that I easily forgot to post any entry, abbas was on call that saturday so i drove off to Mak's house as usual weekend getaway, i picked her and four other sisters to Kg Baru to attend a wedding, i hardly could remember the last time being in Kg Baru, many had changes, plenty of stalls selling food and drinks of various kind were set up along the small road, houses were all transformed into shops and commercial stores, some still remained as residential area but they look more or less like squatters in the middle of town despite the fact it is one of the earliest Malay settlement that we should preserve and from far, I could see the standing tall KLCC Twin Tower, surrounded by many other prominent sky-scrappers that I hardly knew of, and sigh. 'so much had happened over the last 15 years'

later then i drove two of the sisters off to their study place in shah alam, and had some plentiful tea at one of the stall in Sek 7, where I was kinda recalled of how much this place had changed over the past years, development is rapid and I could see many construction is taken place to cater the need of people here. most are for better but i had rather thought of how 'packed' would this place in the next 15 years, would it be like Segitiga Emas in KL? somehow it reminded me of Kg Baru.

*************************************************************************************
Fatiha had started her few steps, it was two steps on the first day, improved to 4 steps on Sunday and alhamdulillah, she managed to make 8-10 steps yesterday! i wonder, can this be called as 'my baby is walking??' and suddenly, i missed her being a baby whom i could cuddle all day long.........

Am I afraid of changes?

movie time

2009-04-13T17:43:00.000-07:00

I would recommend Queens of Langkasuka as compared to the latest shows (that we had watched) on screen- Fast and Furious 4, Race to Witch Mountain and Knowing. The rest were just standard to us (Abbas and I worked out our ratings for them), typical and expected! Except Knowing showed a little bit of difference on how Nicolas Cage interpreted the numbers. Dwayne Johnson (aka the Rock) in Race to Witch Mountain kept his character as other shows, fatherly-type taxi driver who saved those Alien-kids and managed to send them back on the spaceship.

Queens of Langkasuka is not at par with other epic and war movies like Gladiator, Braveheart and LoTR, but it is a good Asian masterpiece I would say. The power of sea embraced by a native fisherman who sought revenge for his loved ones eventually saved his motherland from invasion of rebels and pirates, added with the beautiful and brainy princesses whom are willing to protect their realm more than anything, even when lives are put on the line, I must say this is what we have been looking for from Malaysia film maker. Perhaps I would love to see epic of Malacca on screen in the near future, and I dont mind spending a few $$ for my family to let them learn about our history!

p/s: Hoping for more movie date with Hubby next month, hehe!

how well do i know my husband?

2009-04-06T22:36:00.000-07:00

i have been tagged by Fedy, so here the list goes:

He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen? - football of course, but movie can do too
You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? - Abbas doesnt like salad
What's one food he doesn't like? - veggie in any forms
You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order? - depends on the meal, but favourites are teh tarik, coke or fresh orange
Where did he go to high school? - MRSMPC
What size shoe does he wear? -7.0
If he was to collect anything, what would it be? - DVD and PS3 games
What is his favorite type of sandwich? - he says no to sandwich
What would this person eat every day if he could? - crispy fried chicken
What would he never wear? - pink!
What is his favorite cereal? - used to be crunchy nut, but cant find one here
What is his favorite sports team? - Real Madrid of course!
Who did he vote for? - i dont think he has any answer to this
Who is his best friend? - ME, isteriku bestfrenku!
What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? - nagging?
What is his heritage? - malay
What is his favourite colour? - Black!
What is his habit? - anything to do with Fatiha
What is he proud of? - his daughter
Lastly, do you think he will read this? - i dont think so, he barely has enough time for himself, what more to read or scroll a blog, poor him!

but i guess he knows me much better than i know him, he simply can read whats in my mind without having to ask!

Good luck for your viva!!

2009-04-05T19:39:00.001-07:00

Abbas's big bro wedding was held in Putrajaya Hall last week. We have downloaded the pics courtesy of Yan but I have yet to find time to post some on this page. I am pretty occupied now due to some papers to be submitted. Hence, I would delay the post in a few more days.

On another note,

I am very upset with the new management, how a junior excecutive like me is expected to meet the top tier of *NB management to get some approval on additional budget??? Everyone is like running away from me, leaving me all alone in the darkness praying day and nite hoping to see some light. Ideas or should I call ridiculous proposals were thrown to me to solve it on my own? I suppose theres many reasons why managers are paid RMxx,xxxx.xx per month!

JUST A MUM?

2009-03-24T00:49:00.000-07:00

A woman, renewing her driver's licence ,
Was asked by the woman at Registry to state her occupation.

She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.

'What I mean is, ' explained the woman at Registry,
'do you have a job or are you just a ...?'

'Of course I have a job,' snapped the woman.

'I'm a Mum .'

'We don't list ' Mum ' as an occupation,
'housewife' covers it,'
Said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself
In the same situation.
The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised,
Efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like,
'Official Interrogator' or 'City Registrar.'

'What is your occupation?' she probed.

What made me say it? I do not know. & nbsp;
The words simply popped out.
'I'm a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations.'

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and
Looked up as though she had not heard right.

I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words.
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written,
In bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

'Might I ask,' said the clerk with new interest,
'just what you do in your field?'

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,
I heard myself reply,
'I have a continuing program of research,
(what mother doesn't)
In the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)
And already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?)
And I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more li ke it).
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers
And the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather th an just money.'

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she
Completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,
Testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more
Distinguished and indispensable to mankind than 'just another Mum .'

Motherhood!
What a glorious career!
Especially when there's a title on the door.

Does this make grandmothers
'Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations'
And great grandmothers
'Executive Senior Research Associates?'
I think so!!!
I also think it makes Aunts '
Associate Research Assistants.'

To All Mum out there, congratulations for being a Mom!

Kepada Mak Yang tersayang,

Terima kasih sebanyak2 nya atas segala pengorbanan, sakit pening, susah payah, pahit maung melahirkan, menyusukan, membesarkan, mendidik, mengajar sampai angah mampu ke tahap ini. There is a lot more to say but just not enough words to say it, u mean the whole world to me, and now it is my time to be like you, so one day, I could also smile like you today! I love you dunia and akhirat!

tahniah, tahniah!

2009-03-19T23:13:00.000-07:00

Congrats to my dear frens for your promotion!

Alhamdulillah, your years of hard work were finally appreciated. Hope it lift up the spirit to work harder and lead to a better life. it takes some time for those people to 'see' what you are doing, as their eyes are normally smaller than ours.hehe

p/s: bila plak turn aku ek?

monday blues

2009-03-16T21:10:00.000-07:00

After sending out both Abbas and Fatiha to the routine place, I tried to start my monday in the office, apparently everyone was on leave due to the school holiday, so the office was quite empty. I was kinda blended in with the mood hence zero interest in doing work. Papers needed to get approval were all ready, just a matter of getting some signatures before submission to the relevant clerks. Internet was down due to some unknown (atleast to me) reasons in the whole ICT network. Probably due to virus so everyone was reminded now and then to shut their PC off before leaving for home. So no surfing or 'melagha-ing' had taken place.

I felt the whole emptiness of life suddenly, as if I was nobody! With a completely blank mind, I filled a leave form to get some mind-relaxing activity to make it the day. I texted my IM asking for half-day leave and got it granted. So 1pm, I clocked off and drove home. Only at home I started to feel alive, stronger and my mind was busy planning for that afternoon. I am not creative at all, so definitely I didnt change the existing internal layout of my house hence nothing was moved around. I ended up cleaning the whole house, mopping and hoovering each and every corner, folding up all clothes and rearrange the way I put them in the wardrobe and called it MY day with cooking. Oh I just loved that! A simple homemade dinner was ready by 4pm when I decided to get new haircut. When and where? I should decide later whilst driving. By 5pm, I was ready in the car to pick Abbas up from work and we finally settled off with a simple dinner and movie session on the second Underworld. I didnt like it, too dark, too many scary and ugly faces as if syaitan was everywhere on the screen but just watched it for the sake of accompanying beloved husband whom would be on-call the next day.

I guess I really need to find a hobby, I have plenty to read and write about (as in technical papers) but I dont think it would beat the boredom. Playing with dearest Fatiha is a good option but what to do when she sleeps? I should learn how to sew, like Aida but seriously I dont like it. So how?

'Perkara yang paling jauh adalah masa yang berlalu'

I dont feel how fast time flies watching you sayang

What to do?

2009-03-12T18:53:00.000-07:00

I have two situations:

1. A manager who sent out a team for some work outside, one day he walked into a room full of his team, but as soon as he got in, no one was actually looking at him and of course he answered a few of his questions without making any eye contact, as if he wasnt not even there! but he had in fact called them earlier to inform he is coming for some work-related discussion. The manager was pissed off and went back to the office, and sent a surat layang to the team full of his dissatisfaction. It couldnt be taken by the team, and as an act of rebel, they called off the work and refused to do more. As an outsider who heavily rely on both parties to get your work done, what would you do?

2. Imagine a chairman of a big company who is supposed to give some motivational talk to his people, as he want them to unleash their potential so they could serve the company better, to nominate themselves to get promotion, and to make them to inform the company of their contributions. He tried so hard to convey the message that he slowly raised his voice and started to scold the audience. And it lasted for sometime until someone put him off. As one of the audience, would you take it so badly that you refuse to nominate yourselves and putting your career at stake?

Apparently the approaches taken by the two managers were completely wrong!

How much is your time worth for?

2009-03-09T17:54:00.000-07:00

I saw his incomplete on-call claim form on the table, so I read through and tried to do some maths on top of my head. Of course I was no longer a mathematics-freak as before, hence I found it difficult to figure how much is their rate per hour, RM 1** for 24-hour weekend call, that is equivalent to RM 4.xx per hour! Gosh, that is a total ridiculous pay for double-pay shift over the weekend! So what is their rate per normal hour? Even KFC general worker receives more than that in their paycheck; even I used to get RM 10.xx per hour over the weekend for overtime just to sell jeans, not to say certain amount of commission upon selling some brands!

Later that afternoon, I pointed out the issue to him, without saying too much, he just smiled and quoted,

‘Kalau bukan sebab ibadah, memang dah lama doktor2 kat Malaysia nih sakit jiwa, kerja teruk, on the move sentiasa, kene harassed from every angle – specialist yang bossy, medical officer yang pemalas, berkira and takda semangat team work, incompetent housemen yang slow dan selalu buat team-mates kene marah sekali, macam2 la. That is why I have never wanted Fatiha to be like me, unless I have my own hospital where she could simply work in’

To me, those who stay overseas to complete their internship have their very own reasons to stay, and of course it is not just about money!

like father like daughter

2009-03-02T17:54:00.000-08:00

Fatiha is now being infected by extra-attached-to-bapak syndrome, she has been developing this for quite sometime since the ever-increasing rate of playtime with her bapak, Abbas on the other hand is enjoying less on-call routine as more Paeds HO being summoned to his department, sometimes they team-up to make fun of me but I have never taken it to heart as this so-called attachement syndrome helps me a lot in doing house-chores, cooking and watching, haha!

unfortunately, it gives more headache to me in the morning as abbas leaves for work, she will start crying, sobbing and occasionally screaming for Abbas. so, I have to spend a few minutes to calm her down, promising her she would see and play with bapak again after work

after all, I am more than happy for this, I could not imagine how Fatiha and I would survive if Abbas were to stay in Ireland continuing his brighter medical career. I thank Allah for showing us the light, and I indeed believe Allah is the All-Seer, who knows what is best for us.

cameron VS kota bharu

2009-02-24T17:29:00.000-08:00

We went to Cameron again for the sixth time in a row since i had to monitor sediment monitoring work done by our team. it was not hard at all except some safety measures that had to be taken care of very well to do sampling during heavy rain. i really hope the results would come out nice so I could spend less time writing up the report and presenting to CHPS this coming March. as usual ALang had to follow me to baby-sit Fatiha while I was down in the river taking data. she behaved very well throughout that 2-daday trip.
Kelantan??? gosh, I missed my lovely weekend for a 3-day trip to Kelantan. It was a long tiring driving day for me, but I had to admit I am indeed a good driver to continue 10 hour driving on that long-windy-undulating road all the way from Bangi to Kota Bharu. Luckily Fatiha behaved very well and sat tight in her car-seat throughout that long journey. Occasionally I had to stop to feed her and pat her back to sleep so I could continue smoothly. Well, slopes along KKRI-GMSG transmission lines are well-maintained, stable with just some localised erosion/landslide. So I guess I would ask client to change the site location to sites that require more concern, hopefully of similar to BKTGH-TMGR. I would say AM KB had done pretty good job here except thay had to figure out how to solve the lightning arrestor problems.
here comes the best part, shopping in KB!!!! i spent quite a lot here just for kain pasang. I bought 5 in total, and only 1 for me. I hope it would turn out well in baju kurung, and match the theme of Fali's wedding nicely. For Abbas, i am not really sure what he would want to wear, but he has both suit and baju melayu already. Same goes to Fatiha, her newly-bought cream gown would be just nice to fit her on that day.
i am now looking for a jubah/dress/baju kurung moden to wear on Fali-Tania nikah day. Tania said the theme is gold, so I had to search for a suitable one hopefully next week at Jalan TAR since Abbas had also promised to get new set of working attires for me. yeeiiippie!I am totally in love with him, haha!

27th birthday

2009-02-07T18:08:00.000-08:00

HaPPy BiRthDAy Abang!!!

May you have prosperous years ahead,

May all your (our) wishes come true

May our love lasts forever

above all, I love you!

From Fatiha,

I love you Bapak,

I dont have money to buy you present,

but I know my smile worth more than anything

I cant wait to grow up so I could challenge your ninja and PES skills

Stay healthy, and you are apple of my day, everyday!

Granted!

2009-02-05T19:41:00.000-08:00

soon after work, we went straight to Alamanda to shop for some groceries, Abbas has been craving for mango milk drink by Daily Fresh which we have found it no where else except carrefour alamanda. guess what, we found a better one,2 litre of mango lassi offered at Rm 7.++, walla we just grabbed it!Fatiha was in her stroller while i used the trolley and she kept herself busy trying to grab stuff within her reach and held the trolley so we moved in parallel, haha! it was really funny when she tried to catch my pace, but it was over very soon due to my anxiety of she would break her arm if i changed my direction abruptly!
we settled off for dinner with Spice Crunch whilst Fatiha enjoyed her whipped potato, in the baby seat! she likes to shake the very fragile baby seat vigorously and it freaked me out that i normally stop having my meal, psycho betol la!
at 8**, we headed home. soon after putting on her playing matress she started to show off her crawling skills!! the first one ever! i was freaking happy sampai menjerit2 panggil Abbas, and Fatiha looked at me as if 'umi nih kenapa?cam tk betul je!', hehe! seriously guys, I shed tears again feeling relieved as if all my wish list is granted by Allah. I soon realised to see your loved ones happy and healthy are just priceless! watching her grow up has never been enough for me as her mother, what more for Abbas who keeps on saying how much he would miss her when she'll get married! jauh betul fikiran dia, tapi that's the truth for those who have daughters...

first tooth!!!!

2009-02-03T21:56:00.000-08:00

what a surprise to me! Fatiha has her first tooth on the lower gum! I was driving her to send Abbas's packed dinner as he was on call last nite when she suddenly bite me as I put one of my fingers into her mouth, gila sakit ok! haha, my daughter has grown up so fast, and guess what I shed my tears upon touching the tooth bud in her mouth, I was a total psycho, hahah. I still can feel her in my womb and suddenly she now has her firsth tooth, how fast time flies...no wonder she had this fever last two days.

on another note, i am planning for a good weekend getaway since Abbas get his first no-work-during-holiday-request granted, so guys, please give me some ideas where should we head to, plus his BIG day is coming very sooooonnn (i really mean it!!)....i am desperate to plan something special which of course i dont know, clock is ticking , plssssssssssss

fatiha dah 8 bulan

2009-01-12T23:45:00.000-08:00

sedar tak sedar, Fatiha dah genap 8 bulan, 8kg je, masa lahir 4.1 kg, roughly o.5kg monthly weight increment, kurus je nampak anak umi ni...........

dia pemakan, as if makan semua benda yang kitorg makan, pernah sekali saya masak nasi beriyani, dia nak juga so terpaksa la bagi 2-3 butir (2 suap jugak sebenarnya), tapi alhamdulillah tak nangis plak, stool die pn ok je. skang nih dah pandai berdiri tp of course la with my support, kadang2 dia praktis la bangun dengan supportkan tangan dia kat kerusi, or meja, tapi most of the time saya just pegang tangan dia and she jack her body up

actually, Fatiha baru je recover from demam yang sgt teruk sampai last2 Paeds bagi treatment for bronchilitis (betul ke eja ni??), demam genap 7 hari, tapi paling teruk masa hari ke 4 sebab tk nak makan, tk nak susu, tk nak tido for almost sehari setengah sbb tak boleh bernafas normally, gila kesian smpi saya amik cuti straight 4 hari and ponteng2 kerja hantar dia ke klinik, rasa cam almost nak give up tapi alhamdulillah finally die sembuh juga

lagi satu, Fatiha baru masuk taska kt ofis ni, mmg dekat and takdalah terkejar2 saya di pagi hari tapi quality dia tak sebagus tempat lama, tengoklah macam mana. insya allah lepas setahun dia mungkin dah pandai berdikari, so boleh la hantar ke tempat lebih baik.

pekerjaan saya pula makin bertambah, ada lagi 3-4 outstation kena pergi tapi terpaksa la bincang betul2 dengan abbas untuk decide yang mane nak skip, abbas punya rotation in paeds ok, taklah EOD so merasalah Fatiha belaian ayahandanya setiap hari pulang dari kerja, and saya pun gembira sebab tak lah takut sgt time malam, risau jugak wooo

alhamdulillah, kehidupan semakin bahagia dan gembira, harap2 semua urusan kami dipermudahkan dan berjalan seperti yang kami rancang

oh lupa nak pesan, sentiasa la doakan saudara-saudara kita di Palestin, teringat ceramah kat mane tah

'orang Islam akan menang ke atas Palestin dan akan masuk seperti pertama kali mereka memasukinya'

so kita pun kene berusaha jadi seperti golongan pertama memasuki Palestin yakni golongan yang mempunyai ciri-ciri Umar dan tenteranya semasa masuk ke bumi Palestin dan ingatlah, selagi kita tidak masuk dengan cara kemasukan yang pertama, perjuangan kita hanya ilusi

amin..

16 random things bout me

2009-01-09T00:52:00.000-08:00

i was tagged by fedy, so here the list goes:

second in the family, but the eldest sister to the remaining 6, luckily i have one brother to help me 'managing' and sharing responsibilities of this big family, alhamdulillah most of them now know whey they are heading to
love reading so much hence the reason of having to use glasses from standard 5, but somehow i change the good habit of reading into watching, why huh?
family-type person, really enjoy spending time with family, i dont mind taking unpaid leave for this but never actually get the chance
dream to further my studies, the first plan failed due to some circumstances hence hoping for the next try hopefully it will go through nice and easy
cooking is my passion but time is really not on my side to do tryouts, as a result, we always eat decent simple homemade dishes for meals
have been knowing my husband for almost 8 years since the good old days in KMYS, we were classmates back then, i went to Manchester and he studied in Ireland, God's plan that we found happiness and understanding in each other for us to tie the knot
we were in very-long-distance-marriage for almost one-and-half years, hardest part of that was definitely being pregnant without him, but managed to spend Hari Raya and Chinese New Year holidays with him abroad
miracle happened such Fatiha was born exactly a day after Abbas's home, no one can tell how much I prayed to make him there next to me during labour (no woman can survive without husband in the very first labour), and very grateful Allah granted my dua
when i first know my husband, i though of changing his fav. foods into mine, but after almost 2 years being together, i am now starting to like his foods and slowly showing less interest into my used-to-be-fav-dishes
i love watching movies, anything will do except the scary and horror movie, no suspense-type eh please, i will never watch it even with Abbas around
i love driving and cars too, used to like motorbike and once wished to buy a Harley-Davidson type but Abbas prohibited me from motorbike since we got married, hence the plan was down into the bin
work is so-so, hoping for better but yet to get the change, hope to do something of my interest in near future, thought of quitting TNB many times but the payback is unbearable
a nice advice that I will always adhere to - 'jangan sekali-kali berkira dngan ibubapa, insya allah pintu rezeki akan terbuka luas, always give no matter how much, make it a habit'
regret it very much that i didnt grab the opportunity to learn swimming, so i dont know how to lose the few more kg that I've been earned!!!
always plan to exercise but never succeed to excute it!!
when can i be a structural engineer, i wonder!

hijrah

2008-12-25T19:15:00.000-08:00

realise it or not, it is almost end of a year! how fast time flies, still remember how BIG i was when Fatiha was inside the belly, how i survived 9months pregnant without Abbas, how wonderful it was to see Fatiha with Abbas was next to me, or must I say how thankful I was to Him for allowing Abbas to make it just on time for Fatiha's arrival, how we went through 7-months of parenting, moved in to our own comfy aprtment, and Alhamdulillah we are still here, breathe through His fresh air, healthy and alive!

resoolution??nah!i am still here trying to figure my own resolution since some of this year's are still pending, reason?? busy with new comer Fatiha, adapting to new life of motherhood-parenting-being a good wife, increase work load and of course habit of procrastinating!

so this year, I am done with resolution! i have to get the last year's done before cracking my head out for new ones. all in all, i just hope to be a better mom, a better wife, a better employee and above all a better servant to Him. (Dear Lord, i have missed so many things this year, so I should really look back and catch it one by one before i am left behind)

Salam Maal Hijrah to all!

post menonton 1

2008-12-22T19:38:00.000-08:00

malam tadi sambil menjamah hidangan makan malam, saya dan suami sempat menonton ayat-ayat cinta, cerita cinta keluaran indonesia yang cuba menterjemahkan kemurnian cinta dan perkahwinan dalam Islam. saya rasa terpanggil untuk menulis, bukan memberi komen sebab saya memang tak pandai memberi komen apa lagi mengkritik. suami kata cerita tuh slow tapi berbeza dari standard cerita melayu yang dia pernah tonton (berapa sangat la cerita melayu yang awak tengok, hehe).

saya cuma pelik dengan beberapa perkara:

Fahri ni asyik baik dengan perempuan je, cam pembela nasib perempuan pula
adegan perempuan beri surat cinta pada Fahri walaupun beridentitikan muslimah, saya sendiri rasa segan nak beri surat cinta pada orang yang kita tak confident suka/akan balas surat tuh
watak Nurul hilang terus selepas Fahri kahwin dengan Maria, sedangkan keluarga Nurul berjumpa dengan Fahri minta mengahwini Nurul
Maria masuk Islam bila kahwin dengan Fahri, tapi masih ada tanda Salib di tangannya

yang bagusnya cerita nih mengingatkan saya dan suami tentang nilai perkahwinan dan fungsi perkahwinan tersebut, seolah-olah 'refresh' kan semula kami tentang masjid yang kami bina dan bagaimana mengimarahkan nya sesuai dengan kehendak Islam. proses berkenalan itu dibenarkan tetapi mengikut batas-batas yang dihadkan Islam. bila diuji, kita jadi lemah sehingga tak dapat menerima dengan ikhlas dan belajar meredhai, kita lupa menilai hikmah kejadian. mungkin masa susah tuh la doa kita paling diterima, ibadah kita paling diberkati, sebab hati kita paling khusyuk minta pertolongan dari Dia, mungkin juga disebabkan keredhaan kita pada masa tu, Allah ampunkan dosa-dosa kita yang lalu. saya masih ingat ustaz beritahu masa zaman sekolah di mrsm dulu, masuknya kita ke syurga bukanlah semata-mata sebab amalan kita seharian, tetapi keikhlasan kita dalam beramal. rahmat Allah yang bawa masuk kita ke syurga, bukan amalan kita yang kita rasa cukup. dah melalut pulak saya ni

balik pada cerita tuh, saya paling suka bila Fahri ditaarufkan dengan bakal isterinya-Aisya. rasa macam nak beri nama anak seterusnya Aisya kalau perempuan (lagi 2-3tahun la agaknya,insya Allah). aisya sangat baik, memang pandai la dia bawa watak tuh walaupun saya tak pasti dia muslim ke tidak. rasa ragu-ragu, jeles dan marah bercampur-baur dalam hatinya tapi dia tetap yakin dengan suami yang dia kenal kurang dari sebulan. dia percaya dan yakin seolah-olah telah mengenalinya dari azali. iman yang kuat dan keyakinan tak berbelah bagi terhadap ketentuan Allah membolehkan dia menerima kehadiran 'madu' dalam masa yang sangat singkat. saya sendiri rasa tak mampu nak buat macam tu, sampai saya menangis tak berhenti-henti terutamanya part Aisya mencabut cincin perkahwinan dan memberikan kepada Fahri supaya dapat bernikah dengan Maria, mulianya hati seorang isteri. kesian juga pada suami terpaksa pujuk saya yang dah basah kuyup menangis teresak-esak tengok part2 kritikal cam tuh. agak jahat juga la bila saya rasa gembira Maria akhirnya mati (tetapi sedih kasihan melihat dia di akhir kehidupan).

cinta dan kehendak untuk memiliki adalah 2 perkara yang sangat berbeza, dan hanya yang terpilih mampu membezakan. (kita yang mana agaknya?)

lepas ni, saya nak cari buku dia pula. mesti ada dijual di mana2

semoga Allah merahmati perkahwinan kami, keluarga yang kami bina, kekal sehingga ke akhirat, bahagia selamanya, amin

berkulat terbiar

2008-12-14T17:25:00.001-08:00

kesian betol tgk blog nih,dah dekat 2 minggu tk update, nak kate busy sgt pn tk juga, cuma banyak kerja2 luar rumah yang terpaksa diutamakan, let me try to recap for the past two weeks:

24 nov - nenek meninggal mengejut due to sakit jantung, terkejut+sedih especially to Ayah sbb tk dpt jumpe and minta maaf for one last time but no one did actually, so guys, pls seek forgiveness from your parents every now and then
25 nov - abbas got a day off sbb demam, so i was on leave jadi nurse looking after him
28 nov - weekend gone due to some weddings that I cannot avoid attending
3 dec - packing up Fatiha's zillion stuff and mine for my outstation to cameron
4-5 dec - kerja2 luar di CH, weather was not helping hence i caught a flu and sneezing the whole weekend
7 dec- busy preparing rendang, nasi impit and kuah kacang for Raya Haji
8 dec - raya haji, spending it with tidur all day long due to demam+heavy cough (abbas pulak post-call, mmg duk rumah berehat la)
11 dec - cuti sultan selangor, lepak di rumah and play with Fatiha one whole day, abbas tk cuti sbb Putrajaya takde Sultan
12 dec - Fatiha genap 7 bulan, she now can sit properly but you have to watch her closely takut tergolek ke belakang or terjelepuk ke depan since she's pretty ambitious trying to reach out things beyond her ability, cubaan nak merangkak tuh ada tapi masih samar-samar nampaknya, dont worry sayang, we support you all the way, food-wise- she's an extreme food lover tak kesah lah pedas, manis, masin, pahit but of course we monitor what goes in your mouth sayang, bread of any kind is her favourite but I always give her nasi since kita nih orang melayu kan,
14 dec - trip to Zoo Negara despite the wet season, manage to see a few like deer, lion, tiger, monyet and orang utan and beruk, hippo yang tnk keluar2 dr kolam dia and a few birds including ostrich (will update this with more pics later since tk download dr camera pn lg)

that pretty sums up everything i suppose, better something than nothing atleast to help me restore important moments when I am 60 years old (if Allah spare me life of that long)

bila anakku sakit

2008-11-23T18:59:00.000-08:00

its been exactly a week that Fatiha has not been well, feel terribly sorry for her. it wnt worse and the worst starting from yesterday for all constant coughing, runny nose, sore throat etc. dah tak tau nk buat ape, she's on meds, three times a day tapi still far from getting better. am I not being grateful here? Oh Lord, I have never meant it, I just want everything to be perfect again. dugaan betul, she's been cranky and never wanted to be apart from me as if ummi, dont go anywhere and please warm me up wih your hugs..Gosh, i was stucked between the two, sorry to dear Abbas that I cannot prepare him breakfast this morning yet he made one for me, in the mean time, i called mak asking for her advice, thanks a lot for being very helpful and never short of ideas..

to my dear Fatiha,

Get well soon sayang, umi and bapak always love you, long to see your smile again. Hope you'd have wonderful time at school today, and your pain will be taken away,...away and far from you

Amin

ayat-ayat cinta

2008-11-18T17:52:00.000-08:00

oh please anyone, please tell me where can i get this cd/dvd of 'Ayat-ayat cinta?', really want to watch it!

6 months old

2008-11-12T19:46:00.000-08:00

alhamdulillah, fatiha dah 6 bulan, and she is now officially on solid, err actually i started her on solid food about 2 weeks ago since she'd shown high level of enthusiasm on food, almost everything that got into our mouth will be snatched by her, so there i went to her paeds to get approval...

she's been having quite a few selection till now, but she favours potato above all. she can simply indulge herself into plain mashed potato, especially KFC-made. but being a health-concern-no-to-msg-mom, i always avoid the gravy. at the same time, i make her mashed potato myself, of course with some mashed carrot too! rice porridge is ok, but not a plain one. i have to agree with her that it is purely tasteless, tak sedap langsung! so then we moved on to have some chicken in it, of course she likes it very much. I have to start her slowly on meat to see of any potential allergy reaction, but alhamdulillah so far so good. she takes everything very well, even if it is not that good she will eat it anyway! (i guess that must have come from both of us, never say no to food when we were babies!)

now, i am a bit blank on what to feed her. chicken is ok, maybe i will try on fish and beef in the next few days. makan ayam hari2 nanti gemuk cam ayam anak umi, ikan is better. sayur-wise, i still prefer carrot and potato (category sayur ke ni?) most people say spinach is good, but i have yet to try it

anyway, she is more talkative now, with a lot of sounds humming, burping, grrr-ing, scream-ing, shout-ing, aaaaaa - ing (high-pitch ok!) and shows increase demand in milk! she's very mobile on her walker, almsot every corner of the house she's been to, especially my feet smpi melecet2. she loves sounds from movies, especially tembak2, explosion meletup2, splash of big waves etc. cumil btol Fatiha, penat cmne pn tetap layan juga! bapak kate dah makin chubby, ayah pn kate dh makin berat dukung kt bahu, so i guess that is more than enough to explain how happy she is with food.